Things Left Unsaid
by Creatureofthedark
Summary: Darkness. That’s all I see. Pain. That’s all I feel. There is no way to describe the pain I feel. I swear one of my ribs are broken.I’ll probably have scars the rest of my life from the beating I’ve gotten. I lay in the dark, bleeding.. *recently edited*
1. Chapter 1

**Well i re-edited this yet again. i can't bring myself to change it from the original storyline. though i tried very hard to fix things up. I'm a much better writer than this now. well... i like to think so. if you want to read some of my newer fics, go over to 'Writerforthem's profile. i cowrite with her to keep her on track. :) thanks for reading. edits on the others are coming again too because i'm still not happy with them.**

**Ch. 1**

Darkness. That's all I see. Pain. That's all I feel. There is no way to describe the pain I feel. I swear one of my ribs is broken. I'll probably have scars the rest of my life from the beating I've gotten. I lay in the dark, bleeding, trying not to cry. I have more pain than that though. My heart hurts. I want to cry out for help, but I gave up on that a long time ago.

I don't know how long I've been here. I just know it's been a long time. Months maybe. All I've known for a long time is pain, abuse, and restrain. Chained to the wall. Missing them. Waiting for them to rescue me. Waiting for them to take me away from all of this pain. Waiting for them to help.

My boys. Raph, Donnie, Leo, and Mikey. An interesting bunch. I'm not like them, but they've let me live with them for a while. My parents were killed when I was 12. I lived on the streets for three years. I'm 18 now. Raph took me in when he rescued me from some street guys. I was hurt bad so he brought me home with him since I was unconscious because a guy threw me into a wall. When he got home, his brothers threw a fit. So I'm told.

Now, I've heard of the mysterious mutants and the crocodiles that lived in the sewers of the city, but I never believed the stories. When I woke up I was still out of it. They were surprised at how calm I acted when I woke up though, the truth is, I was nervous. When I was finally okay in my head, I could finally process where I was. I asked them questions and they answered. Then the tables were turned.

I've gotten close to all of them over the three years I've lived with them. They're like brothers to me. They never let me go with them to fight, but I secretly train when they're gone, though they have taught me some things after a few… incidents where I've needed to defend myself. But that's it. So I go over to Casey's and train with him. He keeps my secret believing as I do that someday they could get into trouble (what else is new) and I'll need to help them out of. I could save their butts and repay the favor Raph gave me.

I remember the things I've done with them as I close my eyes. I have given up. I can't wait anymore. My heart falls to the pit of my stomach as I realize that they're probably not coming. I've tried not to believe that, but the more my torturer says it, and the longer I wait, the easier it is to believe.

I lay on this cold floor remembering Mikey's jokes, Leo's sweetness, Donnie teaching me about all of his tech stuff, and Raph. Raph's hot-headedness. Raph and I were always the closest. Maybe it was that we both have a short fuse. That's what Mikey says. I punched him for that. It didn't help any. He just said that that had just proved his point.

What I really believe is what Leo said. We balance each other. His anger against my calmness. When he would yell, I would just look up at him and talk things out. I could be reading a book, draw, or sitting on the couch watching T.V. Leo's amazed at how he would always calm down, usually deciding to come sit next to me to see what I was doing. I think my calmness intimidates him. But I'll never know. Not anymore.

My world fades out as I think about these things. Darkness closes on my heart and mind. There is nothing I would like more as I fall into the abyss of death than to see my friends, my brothers, one more time. I try to send a message of love to them as I close my eyes and I let myself fade away.

* * *

I wake up to a clinking sound. I open my eyes to chains falling to the floor. I can't see anything else because of the darkness, except for a pair of eyes staring into mine. I would know those beautiful eyes anywhere. My Raph. If I wasn't so weak, I would have jumped into his arms. But I can't.

I can only stare into his eyes and smile a very faint smile. I can see tears well up in his eyes as he sees me smile through everything that's wrong right now. Blood on my face and all. Tears start to fall from my eyes as I see his eyes overflow with tears. He never cries. Never. He always tries to hide it.

"You're alive. I can't believe it. You're… you're alive." He can barely talk. He pulls me into his arms and I lay my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I couldn't find you. I'm sorry I took so long." He just holds me there for a while.

"It's okay," I murmur, my eyes closing as I finally relax. "I knew you'd come." I gasp when he picks me up. I know now that I _do_ have a broken rib.

He freezes, a low rumble moving through his chest as he gets worked up. "I'm sorry. I… I didn't mean to hurt you." He loosens his grip and stands up cradling me in his arms.

"It's okay," I murmur. "I'm okay now. You can't hurt me." My voice fades. I start to pass out again. I'm happy now. I didn't get to see the others, but I saw my Raph.

"Lee? Lee don't you dare leave me!" he whispers so loudly to me he's almost yelling. I feel his heart start to beat against my shoulder.

"Shhh. You'll attract attention. I'm okay. Just get me outta here." I look up at him. "I promise I won't leave you. At least not until we get home." I lay my head against his chest. "I promise."

"I'll hold ya to yer promise. But just in case, this is from all of us." He kisses me on the forehead. "We miss you. Shell we've been going insane without you. I swear Donnie hasn't slept in days. We have to force him to."

I smile at him. "Tell them I love them too if I don't make it."

"You will. You promised." He goes out the door as I close my eyes.

I open my eyes as he sits me up. He must have sneaked out of there. There's no way he would risk fighting when he's just trying to get me home. Maybe if the others were here, but not when he's my only chance. I look up at him. "What's going on?"

"I was stupid. I didn't think I'd actually find you." He looks me in the eyes. "I'd almost lost hope." He looks way. "Anyway, I rode my motorcycle." He looks back to me with worried and panicked eyes.

"It's okay. I'm cool with it." He gets on behind me. "I may be hurt, but I've always wanted to ride this thing."

"I promised myself I'd never let you on here. Even with me. You never know when something could happen." He holds me up with one arm and steers with the other.

"Out of all the things you could worry about…" I lightly mumble. "Overprotective freak."

He chuckles, the sound sounding forced.

I fight the whole way not to pass out, and when we get there, Raph has to catch me before I fall. I remember nothing else, except waking up on the couch at home.

"She's alive!"

Before I even look, I know that voice. It's Mikey. My buddy. I look toward the voice and see him coming toward me. I don't even try to move. I just tense up. I know what's coming to me. But, before he can get to me, Raph blocks his way.

"Hold up will ya!" he yells at him. "Can'tcha see she's hurt?"

"Oops. Sorry Lee." He gently picks me up and hugs me.

Most of the time Lee is what they call me. Short for Analie. I preferred Lee to Anna. Right now, I can't believe how gentle Mikey can be. I don't feel a touch of pain even though he's moving me. He's usually high strung and roughing around with us. I look around and notice no one else is here.

"Where's Don? Mikey! Where is he? She can't last much longer!" Raph starts to get nervous when he notices that no one else is here too.

Mikey's eyes open wide as he looks at me. He realizes how bad I look for the first time. "I… I don't know. He left. I don't know where he went." He lowers his voice but I can still hear him. "Is it really that bad?"

Raph's face falls. "Yeah. I actually don't know how she's lasted this long."

They look toward me. "I'm sorry guys." I feel myself fading. I know I don't have much longer anymore. This is finally the end. "This was all my fault." I close my eyes. I sigh as I feel everything go away. All the weight of the world lifts off my shoulders as I slowly leave.

"Lee no! It wasn't your fault!" Raph grabs my hand. "There's nothing to be sorry about!"

"Lee! C'mon. Stay with us!" Mike panicks, kneeling next to me. He grabs my other hand and tries to will me to stay alive.

"If only you guys knew." I take one look into both of their eyes one last time. "If only you knew." Then, I let myself go.

"Analie! No!" Mikey calls out. Raph falls to his knees. He lets go of Lee's hand. He looks at her. Just lying on the couch. Not moving. Not breathing. Not living.

His face gets heard. He clenches his fists. He feels everything that left him when she came along come back. He feels his anger towards life return. Towards death. Towards pain. Towards humans. He stands up and walks away from the couch.

Mikey kneels next to Lee and nudges her. "Lee. C'mon. You can't die. You just can't."

"Mikey! Give it up will ya! She's gone! That's it! It's over!" Raph walks off to his room. "We lost."

"So what? You're just going to let her go that easily? You don't even try to find some way to bring her back?" Mikey stands up and faces Raph's direction as Donatello comes in.

"What's wrong guys? I heard yell…" He stops as he sees Lee on the couch. "No. No, she…"

Mikey turns to him. He has tears in his eyes. "Yeah. She's gone."

Don walks slowly up to his brother. Just looking at him. Disbelief evident in his eyes. Tears are fighting not to fall. He looks to the couch. Is that the girl that was so happy and alive a few weeks ago? How can it be that someone would do this to her? "Did Raph find her?" When Mikey nods, wiping the tears from his eyes, he asks, "How? Where?"

"I don't know. He just brought her home. He carried her in and laid her down on the couch. She… she died a little after that. She was a freakin' strong girl." Mikey sniffles as he and Don walk over to the couch. "Stronger than we ever thought. Or allowed."

Don kneels down and puts his hand on her face. He checks her over. "You're right. She should have been gone long before. She was very strong. Maybe we should have let her fight with us. She always wanted to." He looks up at Mikey. "Where's Raph?" As if on cue, Raph bursts out of his room. He walks straight past the couch toward the door.

"Raph! Where're you going?" Don turns to a furious Raph. He's taken back at the change in his brother. Just yesterday, he looked dead. He has never seen his brother look like this. Close, but not as scary. Now, he looked… intent on revenge. His eyes glow with a new rage and fire that's almost never shown. Don flinches back.

"Where do ya think I'm goin'?" He looks at Don, ready to fight. He won't let anyone get in his way. He's going to find the people who did this to her. He won't let them get away with this. With hurting her.

Don doesn't answer. He looks down. There is no way he will be able to stop his brother. He won't even try. The look he sees on his brother's face scares him. This was a job for Leo. Not him. Leo should be coming this way soon anyway. He should interfere with Raph. He goes back to checking over Lee to see if she's really gone.

Raph just turns and storms out. He walks through the door and goes to where he left his motorcycle. He knows right where to find the people who took Lee from him. Who took her life. He won't take this softly. They will suffer as much as she did if it took every breath in his body.

Leo walks toward him right in time. "Raph? Where're you going? I thought you just left?"

"Well look who's back." Raph is definitely not in the mood for his control freak brother right now. "Have a problem with me leaving?"

"I have a problem with you leaving without telling why or where yes. Where are you going and why?" Leo notices the difference in Raph. He's confused. What could have made him so upset? He's been moping around for the past few days leaving only to look for Lee. What happened?

"Go look on our couch. You'll see why. Go see what they did to her."

"You found her!" When Raph just turns to his motorcycle, he knows something's wrong. "Raph? What happened?"

"As I said. Go look at her." Raph gets onto his motorcycle.

"Raph, don't go. We need you Raph. She needs you. Revenge won't help her. Remember what Splinter said."

"First of all, the others have you. They don't need me. Second of all, she doesn't need me. At least not anymore. Third of all, revenge won't help her, but it will help me." He starts his motorcycle and rides away before Leo can say anything else.

"Raph! Don't do anything stupid!" He thinks of how he doesn't want to deal with this as he turns to go. He starts to run as he remembers Lee. He lets the depression and worry he's been hiding show now. What did they do to her?


	2. Chapter 2

**Ch. 2**

"Mikey! We still have hope!" Don jumps up and runs to his computers. He grabs a machine and hooks it up to her.

"Don? What are you doin'?" Mikey is officially confused.

"We still have hope Mikey! She's gonna be okay!" Don messes with the machine and when it starts beeping (very faintly) he jumps up and runs back to his stuff.

"Don, give it up." Mikey picks up Lee's head and sits down laying it back on his lap. "She's gone." He holds her head, stroking her blond hair. He stares at the streaks of blood in her hair. She looks as if she got her hair highlighted with red. If only that was what happened.

"Mikey! You're not listening!" Don's rummaging through his stuff. He opens a drawer and takes out a needle and a weird colored liquid. "I've been wanting to test this. This is finally the time."

Just then, Leo runs into the room. "Where is she?" He stops and stares at the couch and Mikey's sullen face. "Oh no. No wonder Rah was so…" He can't finish. He goes over and kneels by the couch. He looks at Don running toward them as if she was alive and unharmed. He's taken back. "Don? How do you look so happy! Lee's… " he can't bring himself to say the word.

"Guys listen. I've been working on this for almost two years now. When Lee got hurt playin' around with Casey, I realized Lee wasn't like us and she'd probably need a little help if she gets hurt. As long as she's only a little bit alive, this will work!"

"Whoa Don. What exactly will this do?" Leo stops Don from giving her the shot.

"It will heal her. It will heal everything. That is if she's a little bit alive. That's what the beeping is. She's got a little life still left in her. Let me try this," he pleads, eyes straining for acceptance. "If I don't even try she'll be gone. She'll be gone forever. You have to let me try."

Mike and Leo look at each other. Mike answers. "There's nothing that could go wrong. Go ahead Don."

Don, suddenly nervous, slowly gives her the shot and puts it and the machine away. He comes back and kneels down next to Leo. He starts muttering to himself.

* * *

Pain. She feels like she's burning inside. She tries to make a sound, but she can't. Her breath is caught. She suddenly coughs. She sits up. She doesn't know where she is. Pain. Pain again. She yells this time. She leans over and clenches her stomach as she cries out.

She opens her eyes to three pairs of teary eyes staring at her. Waiting for her to give them a sign that she was going to stay with them. She feels so good to be alive, she figures she could give them something. "Crap that hurt," she breathes.

"She's alive!" Mikey yells.

Before she can move, Lee is pulled into the most painful hug she has ever had. Three in one. They squeeze her until she can't breathe. When they finally pull away, she doesn't have the heart to tell them they hurt her. She's just happy she's alive.

"What was that? It hurt like crap," Lee asks them as she catches her breath. She lies back on the couch to rest. The pain is gone and she feels fine. What happened? How is she not hurting from before? She looks curiously to Don. "There's no pain."

A smile spreads across his face. "It worked. I can't believe it. I made this when you got hurt before and perfected it for a few years. When you got hurt, I realized you weren't like us no matter how much like a sister you feel to us. I made this in case you got seriously hurt. I didn't know if it would work. We had nothing to lose. You're not mad are you?" Don looked like he was seriously afraid she was going to be mad.

"I almost died. I don't think I'm mad. I got to see you guys again." She stops for a second. "When I was laying here on the couch, I thought of how much I wanted to see you guys together again." She freezes, suddenly realizing someone is missing. "Where's Raph?" She frowns, looking to them for answers.

The three look at each other. Mike answers. "Umm, he went a little psycho."

"What do you mean?" They all look at each other again. "Oh no. Don't tell me he went on a revenge rampage again." Lee starts to stand up.

"Oh no you don't. You're staying right here. I don't know what this stuff will do." Don pushes her back onto the couch. "Mike, call Casey. Tell him to come here."

"He's right." Leo gets eye level with Lee. "You stay here. We can handle Raph. We have for a long time now." They all get up and get their stuff. Lee lies on the couch planning her escape.

"Guys? There's one problem with you guys going off on your own." She struggles to hide her grin. "You have no idea where he is since his last tracker broke." Lee knows she's got them this time. She doesn't know where she was, but she does know one thing. She has the key to finding Raph. Literally.

They all stop, facing the door. They slowly turn around. "Dudes, she has a point," Mikey says looking at Leo. "I think we need her help if we're going to find Raph before he gets anywhere."

Leo sighs. "C'mon."

Lee gets up and heads toward her room. "Hold on a minute."

The three brothers look at each other all thinking the same question. What now?

Lee goes into her room. She changes into new clothes. She puts on a black t-shirt and a pair of her kaki pants. They're baggy enough to hide what she wants them to. Her sai. Well, it's not hers. It's one of Raph's. She goes to her closet and pushes open a wall. Her secret place.

Casey helped her put it in when the others were gone. One of their getaways. She had gone over to Casey and April's house to stay while they were gone. They had gotten the idea while watching some spy movie. They had built it and Lee had slowly fixed it up sneaking stuff in. It is now the room she hides weapons she may need in. She has one of everything. One of Raph's sais, Leo's katana, Donnie's staff, and Mikey's nunchucks.

She grabs a sai and the nunchuck. She puts one in each pocket. She has a leather protective holder in her picket with her sai. She leaves and slides the wall shut. But before she goes out of her room, she grabs a pair of Casey's gloves. She walks back out of her room a little over a minute after she had went in.

She puts on the gloves as she's walking toward the three. Leo notices. "Don't think you're going to do any fighting."

Lee thinks of the weapons she has in her pockets as she replies. "I know. I just have to look the part." She sighs internally. _Wow Lee. Bad excuse. Note to self: Think of better excuses._ She stops in front of them. "Okay. Let's go."

* * *

Casey walks into the kitchen and picks up the phone. "Yeah. Hey Mikey! What? You found her? Oh. Okay. I'll be there soon." He hangs up and goes into his room. "April, I have to go!"

April answers from the living room. "The guys again?"

"Yeah. I'll be back later. They found her!" Casey grabs his bag.

"They found her? But, why do you need your bag?" She sits up and watches him head toward the door over the back of the couch.

"Raph's gone intent on revenge again. Be back soon." He goes out the door.

"Okay. Be careful!"

The door opens again. "Me? Careful? You know me better. Act now think later." He smiles at her.

"That's what I'm afraid of." She lays back down as Casey leaves.

"I'll be fine!" he calls closing the door. He heads down the stairs and goes to his truck. "Here we go again."


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch. 3**

Lee, Mikey, Donnie, and Leo climb into Casey's truck as soon as he pulls up. "Okay Donnie. Give me your computer."

"Whoa Lee! You're perfectly fine! What… how…"

"Relax Case. I'll explain later. We have to find Raph." Lee takes Donnie's computer, taking a chain out of her shirt with a pendant on it. She pulls it over her head and pushes on the back of the pendant. A flash drive is pushed out.

"Okay, how did I miss that?" Donnie looks at Lee a little surprised.

She smirks to herself as she sticks it into the computer. "I take it you never missed that flash drive and those parts I… borrowed? You also probably never thought I actually paid attention to you when you taught me how to expand a flash drive and the lessons on a tracking system."

They all look at Lee with their mouths open as she accesses the memory. She never ceases to amaze them. They soon hear a beeping. Lee climbs up to the front seat with the computer.

Lee sets the computer on the dashboard. "There he is."

Casey looks at the blinking dot and takes one more shocked look at Lee. Then he starts the truck. "Okay then. Let's go kick some butts. Hold on guys." Casey takes off.

Lee looks at the screen. She sighs and puts her head in her hands. She suddenly feels someone touching her back. She turns around to three someone's. Mikey, Leo, and Donnie.

"Don't worry Lee. We'll find Raph," Casey says. "By the way. Nice highlights." Lee laughs a short laugh as he takes a sharp turn. She has to catch the laptop.

"How do you have a signal on him?" Don asks curiously.

Lee grins. "I have one on all of you." She turns to look in the back to see them staring at her.

"That's just a little creepy," Mike comments.

She smiles. "Hey. It started with Raph. I figured he'd need a backup one since he has a habbit of getting rid of his when he doesn't want to be followed."

"Good point," Leo allows.

They drive a few minutes longer. They're already almost there.

Lee scans the screen. "Take a left here," she says. She shuts the laptop and takes out her necklace. She puts it back on. "Take another left here."

"Where?" Casey asks. He slows down.

"Stop." Lee gets out followed by the others. She looks at the wall.

"Are you sure it was here?" Leo asks.

"Yeah. It was here." Lee walks up to the wall. "Hey Casey. A little help here." She jerks her head up.

Casey walks up and looks at Lee's face. "Oh. You mean…" It's time to show them that she can take care of herself.

"Yeah. C'mon. Help me. We need to get to Raph." Lee walks to the wall with Casey. "Just like we practiced."

"Wait. What? Practiced?" Leo is too late. Lee had already vaulted up the wall with Casey's help. Leo glares at Casey. "Okay. How long was this going on?"

Casey laughs nervously. "We'll talk later. C'mon. We have to follow her."

Mikey helps Casey vault up the wall as Lee jumps down on the other side. The others jump up. They all drop down on the other side, walking up to Lee.

"This was newly built see?" Lee points to the marks on the walls. "It was an ally. It won't affect anything." She walks forward a few steps. "Someone was trying to hide something though."

"Lee. Hold up." Leo stops her. "We can handle this alone. You stay here. We can't risk anything happening to you again."

"Leo, you don't understand. I'm the reason he's here. He has to see me to agree to leave. I'm the one who has to get him out." She walks over to Casey and takes one of his hockey sticks. "Besides. I can take care of myself," she says twirling it around a little. She then throws it over her shoulder.

"But Lee…"

"Leo, look at her," Donnie interrupts. "Do you honestly think she can't take care of herself? She has a weapon this time. Give her a chance. Besides," he grins, "she's eighteen now. She's legally able to ignore you."

Lee grins, Mike chuckling next to her at Leo's annoyed face.

Leo sighs. "Okay. Just… be careful."

Lee walks up and hugs him. "I will."

Leo hugs her back. He rests his head on hers. "Just don't make me regret this." He follows her closely as she turns from him.

"Don't worry. I won't," she answers, starting to walk away.

"How do you know where we're going?" Mikey asks Lee.

"Photographic memory. I looked at the paths before I shut the computer." Lee smiles. "Be quiet now. We're getting close."

"Dude. A photographic memory would be awesome," Mikey whispers.

"Dream on," Casey teases.

"Shut up."

"Shhh," Don shushes as Lee slows down.

They all turn a corner and slowly sneak toward a wall of crates. Lee turns to them. In a barely audible voice she whispers, "They're right down here."

They all sneak up to a low wall of crates. They hear talking. As they get closer, they realize it's yelling mixed in with the sound of clinking metal.

"Aww crap. I had hoped to get here before he started fighting," Lee whispers. She lets the others get closer. They all watch to see what will happen.

Raph spins around to block a strike. His attacker pushes him back but Raph swings low and makes the attacker step back. Raph turns to make another strike when the guy swings and trips him. He rolls a little to make the guy come after him then stops. He kicks the feet out from under him. Raph stands up to make another strike.

Other people are coming into the room. He has to fight a few back before he can get back to what he was doing. By that time his attacker, obviously the leader, is up off the floor. The leader comes at him again. He swings his sword. Raph blocks his attack while blocking another. He is struck by yet another from behind. He pushes the leader back to go after the others. He pushes the two back but doesn't turn around fast enough to block another attack. He is cut in the arm.

He turns around to face the leader and is cut again. This time on his other arm. He stops the third attack and throws him down. He turns to fight other guys. He twists and turns attacking anyone in his way. He turns around to the leader coming at him yet again. "A brave one aren't we," he teases.

The leader replies between strikes, "You shouldn't be talking. Showing up here all by yourself. Maybe for revenge? Maybe to get back at me for hurting your friend?"

Raph growls. He starts attacking more and more, fighting other guys off all the time. "How dare you talk about her! You have no right to even think about her!" He attacks harder and harder. His anger is getting the best of him. It is all part of his foe's plan. Make him lose energy then finish it.

"What took you so long to find her?" he replies. "You don't even deserve to see her again after just letting her disappear like that. Don't you think two weeks is too long? Lucky for me it was just long enough to kill her."

Allowing himself a vicious yell, Raph attacks harder than ever. Fighting off not just the leader, but the other attackers too. He is slowly wearing down. He can't fight this many alone. He doesn't notice. He keeps fighting.

"I'm a little disappointed though that she had to die that soon. I was having fun."

Raph can't take anymore. He attacks right and left. He is struck again and again. He is pushed back toward a wall. He jumps up to block an attack and is kicked in the stomach by two guys at the same time. He is kicked into the wall. He hits it hard enough to snap his head back, falling to the floor. He struggles to stand up, arms shaking as he holds himself up while trying to clear his head.

Leo turns to the others. "Casey, you stay here until we get the others away from Raph. Then move in to help. Lee…" He looks around. Lee is nowhere to be found. He turns to Casey.

Casey looks at Leo. He shrugs his shoulders. He looks around and sees her on the ceiling. He looks at Leo and points up. They all look up together.

Lee had climbed her way up the pipes on the side of the wall and was sliding on one with her hands making her way to where Raph was. She swings herself up onto the pipe and grabs a cord hanging from the ceiling.

She's about to use it to lower herself to the ground when the pipe breaks. She lets her hands slide down the cord as the pipe bends toward the ground. Now glad for the gloves, she slides down the rest of the cord and drops to the ground between Raph and the attackers.

"Okay. That didn't go as planned, but I think I made a dang good entrance." She takes the hockey stick out of her belt, swinging it around before hitting it to the ground in front of her.

The leader doesn't know what to say. The girl who was dieing and bleeding a few hours ago is standing in front of him perfectly fine. No marks at all. There is no evidence of blood except for the red streaks in her hair. "How…"

"Yeah, people have been saying that a lot today." She puts her hand on her hip and leans against the hockey stick. "I think you've been trying to kill my friend." She shakes her head, an evil and uncharacteristic smile spreading across her face. "That was a bad idea."

Suddenly, Leo, Mikey, Donnie, and Casey jump out and flank Lee. She turns to Raph. She notices the shocked look on his face. "It looked like you needed a little help." She walks up to him and helps him up. She takes cuts off a part of her shirt with one of Raph's sais. She wraps it around the worse cut arm frowning at the excessive bleeding.

When she's done tying the knot, she keeps her hand on Raph's arm. She looks up to him to see him looking at her. "How… ?"

She looks up at his eyes. His beautiful eyes. She stops her thoughts and smiles at him. "Ask me later. Let's just get out of here alive." She turns to go but Raph grabs her arm. He pulls her back and wraps his arms around her. He holds her as long as he can. He has to let go when he realizes that the others are fighting.

"Here. You need a real weapon now." Raph starts to hand Lee one of his sais. She stops him.

"Don't worry." She smiles at him. "I've got it under control." She twirls her sai, that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, in her hand a few seconds before grabbing Raph's hand. "Let's go kick some butt." She pulls him with her and starts to fight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch. 4**

Lee has the sai in one hand and the hockey stick in the other. Refueled with the knowledge that her best friends are fighting next to her, she moves untouchable through the mess of people.

She keeps an eye on everyone as she fights off man after man. She doesn't notice that she is slowly backed into a corner. She realizes her problem too late. She also notices that Leo is being backed up to a window by the leader.

She sees Raph is open to get to him. When he looks her direction and starts to come her way, she yells "Raph no! Go help Leo!"

Raph looks at Leo. He looks back at Lee. Lee makes up his mind for him. "Trust me Raph! I'm fine! Go help him!" She sees him take one more look in her direction before going to help Leo. She smiles to herself.

* * *

After Raph sees Casey head toward Lee, he decides to go help Leo. _Take care a' her Case_ he thinks to himself as he turns his back on her and turns to the task at hand. He jumps up different crates and catwalks to get to the one Leo's on. He sees Leo at the edge of the window. "Leo! Watch…!" He can't finish his sentence.

He feels as if his world is turned upside down for the second time that day as Leo smashes through the window. He may fight with his brother a lot, but he loves him more than anything. Equally to Lee, Casey, April, and his other brothers of course. If something happens to Leo now, Raph doesn't know what he'd do. He can't lose someone else. Not now. Not again.

Without thinking, he jumps through the window after his brother. He never thinks of how high they probably are. He doesn't care. He just jumps.

* * *

Lee and Casey fight their way out of the corner. Lee knocks a few guys away before looking up at the sound of breaking glass. She freaks out when she sees the broken window and no Leo. She cries out when she sees Raph follow. On purpose!

She wastes no time in getting to the window. All of the others are right behind her. She stops in front of the window afraid of what she'd see. Her eyes tear up at the sight below. There are mattresses under the window, sitting on the roof of the second story landing. A lucky placement. She knows that Raph didn't know those were there. That was the best sight she had ever seen.

She jumps out the window, landing on the mattresses. She twists in the air and lands on her feet. She turns just in time to fight off some more men. She turns again to look for Raph and Leo. She sees them fighting side by side.

Donnie lands next to Lee in time to block one of the guys' way to her. "Thanks Donnie."

"Don't mention it." He's already off to help Mikey.

Lee heads toward Raph and Leo. She catches her breath as she sees Leo go down and get separated from Raph. She makes her way to them after checking to see if anyone else needs help.

Her world goes into slow motion as she sees the leader fight Raph on the edge of the roof. She runs forward as Raph takes the fatal step backwards. She calls out his name as he falls. Leo cries out too, taking on the leader as Lee goes to Raph.

She gets to the edge of the building. He's barely holding on to the edge. She calls down to him, holding out her hand for his empty one. "Take my hand!"

"You won't be able to hold me!"

Suddenly, Lee feels a hand grab hers. "She can if I help!" Mikey calls down.

Raph reaches up with his free hand and grabs Lee's wrist. Lee returns the motion. Raph feels Lee grab his wrist with more strength than he ever thought she had. Just in time too. Raph's hand holding the edge of the building slips.

Lee clenches her teeth as she turns to Mikey. "Pull!"

Mikey pulls Lee a short way. He has to stop to fend off a few guys. Then they just keep coming. They keep him from pulling her up anymore. "I can't pull you!"

"Hold on then!" Lee cries back. She looks down at Raph. She can only whisper, "Don't move."

"Lee, just let me go. You can't hold me forever."

"No, but I can try to lift you."

"Lee no! Even if you could, it would rip your arm to shreds!"

Lee closes her eyes. She whispers to herself. "Then it's the least I can do for you." She then starts to lift with all of her strength. At first, nothing happens.

"Lee! Lee just let me go!" He tries to get her to let go. He twists his arm and lets go of her hand to make her drop him. He's surprised at her strength as she grips him harder. It hurts.

"Don't you freakin' dare!" she growls. She doesn't remember swearing, but the way Raph looks up at her and how he stops moving makes her wonder. She doesn't have time to think about it.

She's on her knees, trying to pull Raph up. Her arm slowly moves. She feels her muscles start to burn. They feel like knives are stripping through them. Exactly what Raph had said. But she doesn't care. She just keeps pulling.

Raph reaches up to the edge and tries to help her, but the many cuts on his arms keep him from being much help. They just open and start to bleed more. "Lee. I can't help you. Just let go."

She keeps pulling. Her answer only comes out as a whisper. "Never." The pain spreads up her arm. She starts to 'growl', a cry of pain she holds in the back of her throat. It still gets increasingly louder. She keeps pulling. When she finally gets him up enough so that he could pull himself up, she collapses when she knows he won't need any more help.

"Lee, you are so stupid," Raph says sitting her up. He will never forget the pain he saw in her face and heard in her voice as she had pulled him up, whispering the word he had always wanted to hear from her. Never. Never leaving him. He sees her arm just hanging limp. "Is your arm okay?" He looks at her worriedly.

Lee just barely moves her arm. "I won't be able to… move it without… pain shooting through my whole chest," she breathes. Her voice is shot from the way she had yelled and it takes a lot to make a sound through her teeth, clenched from the pain. She's exhausted and hurting.

She looks up at Raph in time to see someone coming up behind him. "No!" She gets up and jumps in front of Raph as the attacker thrusts forward a knife.

Raph realizes what's going on too late. He can only catch Lee as she falls to the ground, looking into her blue eyes as they catch the glint of the moon. He had let his guard down. He will never forgive himself for that.

Lee had stabbed the attacker with her sai as he had stabbed her. Neither of them had to worry about that person. Mikey and Donnie had also come closer to circle their friends. Casey is now coming into the circle.

"Lee! Lee c'mon stay with us!" He sees the gash in her chest and falls to his knees next to Raph.

They look at each other. They both know that there's no way she can survive that. It's so deep. What shocks Raph more is that Lee had the sai in her right hand. The arm that had pulled him up. The one that if it moved, would shoot pain through her whole body. He couldn't begin to imagine the pain that she had probably felt.

Raph puts his hand under Lee's head. "Lee, you are so stupid," he chokes out for the second time. His heart breaks as he watches her gasp in pain.

"Raph! The truck is out where we came in! There's a drawer under the driver's seat! Get the shot that's in there! It will help her!" Donnie keeps the attackers back as Raph runs out of the circle. There is no reason to argue.

He runs to where he had come in and found it to be the exact place the others had come in. He had never run so fast in his life. He's at the truck in no time, jumping in and going to the drawer. He grabs the only thing in there. The shot. He takes a short cut back, jumping on pipes and crates. He jumps into the circle around Lee.

In one swift motion, he takes off the needle cap, lands, and stabs the needle into Lee's stomach.

"Only give her half," Donnie yells.

Raph listens only because he doesn't know if more than half will hurt her or not. He doesn't know what this stuff is. He watches as Lee closes her eyes. He takes out the needle and puts the cap back on. He puts it in Casey's bag for safekeeping. "Don, it's not working!"

"Give it a second!" he replies still fighting off attackers.

Raph turns back to Lee in time to see her cough. His heart cracks as he hears her cry out in pain. He knows that this is equal to a scream when it comes to her. He can't stand the thought that it was all his fault. He almost cries as she tries to sit up.

He pulls her into a hug. "Don't ever scare me like that again," he growls, his voice strained. He holds her back. "I thought I lost you again. Twice in one day is too much."

Lee smiles. "I'm sorry," she says as Casey puts an arm around her.

Raph's eyes harden again. "Stay here. It's time to end this." He nods to Casey as Lee starts to get up.

"He's right this time. You aren't going anywhere." Casey pushes Lee back down. "Don't move from this spot. You've been in enough trouble already. Dieing twice in one day is enough to kill _me_."

She doesn't argue. Her arm is slowly getting feeling back into it. She sits up and gets her sai. She finally decides that it's time to get out the nunchuck. She looks around and sees that Mikey and Donnie are occupied. She sneaks out of the circle and heads towards Leo.

She sees Raph and Casey heading that way, but they are blocked by many men. Leo is fighting as if he's slowly fading. She knows the way he moves when he's tired. She starts to worry.

Many times watching him train with his brothers has taught her many things about Leo. His movements slow, he misses good shots, and he barely gets around to protect himself before getting hit. Yet, you would never guess by his expression. He never lets his opponent know.

This is what worries Lee. Only she knows how much he needs help right now. And no matter how hurt everyone else thinks she is, she will never stay down when one of her brothers needs help. It's time to get even. Adrenaline runs through her veins.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ch. 5**

Lee moves through the people effortlessly as she makes her way to Leo. She gathers all of her hatred toward the man that was attacking her 'brother' as she makes her way toward him. She remembers how he had hurt her, how he had insulted her, how he had insulted _Raph_. It was time to end this.

She is only feet away from Leo as she sees a fatal mistake. Her eyes connect with his when he sees her coming toward him. She sees the stern expression in his face as he's about to yell at her to stay away. He turns to his attacker again, miscalculating the direction his foe's sword was pointed.

"Leo!" Lee screams his name as he is stabbed in the arm. She runs to him as his attacker swings his blade down again. She gets there only in time to keep the blade from cutting deep into his throat. She isn't there in time to save him though. The blade cuts deep enough. Just enough so that he will bleed to death before any help could get to him. Leo hits the ground with a thud.

Lee doesn't know how she did it. She only knows why. She beats back the man who had hurt everyone she loved in some way or fashion. She pushes him away from Leo. She sees Raph headed her way. She takes this opportunity to pass him off to Raph so that she could get to Leo.

As Raph takes on the fight, Casey follows Lee to Leo's side. Lee picks up Leo's head as she starts to cry. She sees the cut on Leo's neck and runs her finger down it. She will never forget the look he gave her as she holds him there.

Lee knows Leo only loves her as a sister, but right then, Lee wished Leo knew how much _she_ loved _him_. He's more than a brother to her. He's her friend, her protector… her father figure. As the oldest of the bunch, they had connected that way since they met. He was like a father to her. She was losing her father all over again.

She puts her forehead to his, not aware of what Casey was doing. She whispers what she wished she had told him long ago. "I love you." She had never told any one of them she loved them. She had always felt guilty about it. "You've been more than a brother to me since I came here. You've been like a father to me. Please, don't go."

Just then, Casey pushes her away. Lee watches as he stabs the needle into Leo's shoulder. Lee didn't know that there was more of the stuff, but she had never felt so relieved. She watches as Casey puts the needle back into his bag.

He turns to her. "Never leave something like this behind where others can get a hold of it." He puts it in his bag. "Stupid scientists," he mutters to himself.

They both turn back to Leo. Lee watches in amazement as the gash on Leo's neck heals right before her eyes. There is no trace of the cut at all. Lee runs her finger where she had run it over just seconds ago. Where there used to be a horrible gash. She had never watched it work. It was amazing.

Casey is already up again and fighting. The number of men has decreased rapidly. Little did any of them know, they had been fighting for only a half hour. To all of them, it had felt like days. Casey easily keeps some of the remaining men away from the two.

Leo is hugging Lee. "You looked like I never knew. I know you love me. I love you. That's why I tell you what to do. I want you to be safe." He kisses Lee on the forehead. "I'm not going to bother you anymore. Just be careful."

Lee hugs Leo one more time before getting up to fight again. It starts to rain as she stands up. It starts slow, but quickly moves into pouring rain. Her hair is soaked in minutes. She finds herself looking for Raph through the rain. She sees him. She shocks herself remembering passing the leader off to him. She usually would have never done that. She is now fully worried.

* * *

Raph had taken the tormenter of his love happily. He wanted to teach him a lesson. To get back at him for what he had done to Lee. To kill him. Though the guy is wearing down, he seems to have and endless supply of energy. Raph is surprised at how fast he still is. This doesn't faze him much.

Raph had always had a problem with pride. Not a major problem, but enough to keep him from thinking logically. He is slowing down. He feels as if he has already won. That is the mistake that hurts him.

He doesn't bother watching for anyone else, so when someone comes up behind him suddenly, he has to jump up over the swing of their knife to keep from getting slashed in the legs. This gives the leader all the chance he needs, and he takes it.

Raph is kicked into a wall again. He hits the wall and falls down behind some crates. The leader leaps behind them to get to Raph.

* * *

Lee slides on the ground after getting kicked. She gets up, moving her shoulders to loosen the pain and joins her friends as she sees them trying to get to Raph, ignoring the pain in her back. She watches helplessly as he is kicked and falls behind the crates. She watches as the attacker follows.

She tries to make her way to the crates as the others block the men coming at them. Lightning flashes and she sees the shadow of Raph pushing himself up flash onto the wall of the building. Her breath catches. The blade is poised above his head. She runs through the other fighters trying, fighting, to get to her destination.

Lightning flashes again to show both of their silhouettes on the wall. Raph was holding off the attacker. Her heart settles, but doesn't rest. It will never rest. Not until they were all safe at home.

Then something happens. Something she doesn't believe could be possible. As thunder rumbles, the attacker steps out from behind the crates. Unfollowed. He just stands there, mocking her. Mocking her pain. Mocking her anger.

She stares at him. Hating him. Her hand slowly twirls her sai around. She stares at him a little longer, gathering all of her hatred toward him. All of her memories. All of the things he has done that day. Remembering it all. Then, she attacks.

They move toward each other so fast, they are locked in combat in mere seconds. Leo and Donnie come to help as Casey runs to a wounded Mikey. Lee doesn't notice any of the things that are going on around her. She only fights.

Leo and Donnie get there just in time. Lee's foot slips on the ground as the attacker swings his sword. She gets by with only a cut on her eye thanks to Donnie, who blocks the blade. As she hits the ground, Donnie brings his staff in between her and her opponent's blade. Leo tries to check her over as Donnie takes on the leader.

Leo only has a second to see blood running down Lee's cheek before she's up again and after the two fighting. She comes up behind the two, and as the attacker turns to block a swipe from Donnie, she stabs him in the stomach, swings the chuck around his neck, and chokes him with it as she kneels on his back.

Everyone and everything fades away as she realizes she has finally gotten what she wants. She takes her sai and slashes his arm, ignoring the groan. "This is for me." She slashes his other arm deeper than the last one, drawing out a louder cry. "This is for my friends." She leans down and whispers in his ear, "And this… this is for Raph." She runs the blade over his stretched neck.

She releases her hold on his neck and stands up, facing her friends. All of the other fighters had run away when they saw their leader had failed. She puts her weapons away as she turns around to the stack of crates. She straightens her shoulders and walks forward, preparing herself for what she is about to see.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ch. 6**

She takes one look and breaks down. Her heart can't hold in her pain anymore. The stress of everything has finally fallen in. She can't stand to see what she only glimpses. She falls to her knees so suddenly, it takes a while for the others to notice the change. They immediately run to her.

Leo had put out his arms to keep the others from following Lee as she walked away from them, Casey coming up with a badly hurt Mikey. As Lee had stood up, they were all willing to give her some time before they went to comfort her. They were all leaning on each other, trying not to cry. Not believing that their hotheaded brother could be gone. He was always the strongest.

When Lee had fallen to her knees, they knew she needed them. They knew that if they didn't help her, she wouldn't be able to take the pain. They needed to help her. They all ran to her. None of their injuries seemed significant now. They all ran to her and cried with her. Even Mikey was able to get to her.

Lee is already sobbing uncontrollably by the time she feels arms around her. She turns into the first embrace she feels and wraps her arms around their neck, her eyes squeezed shut as she cries. It's Leo. She can tell by the feeling of his arms around her. The rest come around. First Casey, then Mikey, then Don. They all hold each other crying over the loss of their brother.

Lee is the first to let go. She wants to go to him. She makes her way out of the others and gets to Raph. Still crying, she lays over him unconsciously running her fingers over his hand. When she starts to control herself, she notices what she's doing. She remembers a conversation with Raph she had had only four months after they had taken her in.

_She runs her hand over Raph's. He had come in to check on her after she had woken up with a nightmare. He could hear her easily since her room is next to his._

"_I feel so small." She looks up at him. "That's why I get scared so easily. I hated living on the streets. It was so dark and you never knew when someone would just decide to hurt you. Like when you came." She had started to tear up._

_He had taken her hand in his. "No matter how weak or small you feel, I'll be there to protect you. Me and my brothers."_

"_What about Casey?"_

"_Casey too."_

_They had been sitting on her bed. She had leaned her head on his shoulder, finally satisfied. He had wrapped his arm around her. She had the crawled into his lap. "No matter what, I'll always be there for you." He had held her until she had fallen back to sleep, laid her down, and left._

Crying in the rain now, Lee had a thought. He had lied to her. She felt so small now. She had failed. She hadn't been able to protect him. And he wasn't there. He wasn't there to take her hand in his or give her a hug like so many times before. She grips his hand in hers. She felt so small. And he wasn't there.

She lets herself fall forward, her forehead leaning on his shoulder. She whispers, "You're not here Raph. You said you'd always be there. Especially when I felt weak and small." She wraps her arms around his arm and whispers, "But you're not here. You lied to me." She lets herself cry again as she hugs his arm.

"I didn't lie."

It was so faint, Lee almost didn't hear it. More correctly, she heard it, but ignored it. It was her heart. Only wishful thinking.

"I'm here for you."

This time she feels a squeeze on her hand. She sits upright. It couldn't be. Could it? She looks at Raph's face. After a second, an eye opens a crack and a smile spreads across his face. "I promised. You kept yours. It's my turn to keep mine."

All at once, everyone is around the two. Everyone is hugging and laughing. They had all made it. They had stayed together. They were all going home.

Lee is suddenly tired. Everyone is safe now, and all of her energy is gone. She sinks back to the ground after trying to stand up. She suddenly feels all of her pain. Her aching muscles, the bruise on her back, and the gash on her eye throbbing. She is barely aware of Casey picking her up. She comes back to reality when Casey sets her down in the truck. She goes to sit down. Leo comes in carrying Raph. He lays him down next to Lee. "Let's go home you two."

He goes to sit down on the other side of Lee. As soon as she feels Leo sit down, her head is against his shoulder. She is exhausted. She takes Raph's hand for reassurance. When she feels a gentle squeeze, she relaxes. She falls asleep.

* * *

Lee opens her eyes to someone standing over her. She sits up to Mikey. "C'mon. Get up. I've got breakfast!" She groans, laying back down. Don must have Mikey on major painkillers to make him feel good enough to make… she sniffs… pancakes?

She watches as he leaves. Bandages on the top of his right arm, top and bottom of his left, and a few on his legs. _Poor thing_ she thinks as she gets up. _Don must have drugged him up an awful lot._

Lee motivates herself to get up when she smells the pancakes. She gets up to get a shower. She gets some new clothes out of her drawer and is about to turn around when she sees herself in her dresser mirror.

There are still red streaks in her hair because she hasn't gotten a shower yet. She actually sorta likes them. She brushes her hair as she looks herself over. She puts the brush down and looks at the stitches in her eye. She runs her finger over them. No pain. She'll have to thank Don later.

She goes to the bathroom. She turns the water on to let it warm up as she gets undressed. She's about to get in when she sees her back out of the corner of her eye. Blue and green cover her back from shoulder to shoulder and halfway down her back. She moves her arms and shoulders around. _Thank you Donnie._

She gets in and out of the shower. She puts sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt on to be comfortable and goes out. She puts her old pants in her dirty clothes pile and her torn shirt in the garbage. She also puts her weapons away. She goes into the kitchen in time to see Mikey putting a plate at her spot. He must have heard her get out of the shower. The food looks amazing.

"Took ya long enough," he teases.

"I had to take a very needed shower," she replies before digging right into her food. She is starving.

Leo then walks in. "Hey Lee. How do you feel?" he asks sitting down as Mikey gives him some food.

"Thanks to Donnie, I feel great. A little tired, but it could be worse."

"A little scratched up but I'm fine thanks for asking," Mikey comments sarcastically. He then gets hit in the head with a pancake from Leo.

"Hey! That's a waste of perfectly good food!"

Lee smiles. It's like nothing ever happened. Wait a second. "Where's Raph and Donnie?" she asks worriedly.

"Raph's sleeping. He's pretty banged up." After seeing Lee's worried face, he adds, "Don't worry. He'll be fine. Donnie… he's sleeping last time I checked. He was up all night patching us up."

Lee nods. As she takes up her plate she looks at Leo. He has an arm wrapped, but that's it thanks to Donnie's stuff (which he'll be making more of now that he knows it works). "I'm going to check on them."

"Donnie sure. Raph I'd leave alone. He's cranky right now. You know what those painkillers do to him."

Lee laughs. "If he objects to _me_ coming in I'll throw a pillow at him how's that?"

"Yeah sure. It'll knock him out," Leo answers sarcastically.

"Try using a brick," Mikey calls after her as she heads towards their rooms.

Lee smiles. That wasn't a bad idea. But, she wouldn't be able to do it. Not after all they've survived. She laughs. She could imagine Raph's face. He wouldn't believe she had actually thrown something _hard_ at him.

She stops at Donnie's door. She opens it a crack and looks in. She smiles as she sees him sprawled out on his bed, papers and bandages everywhere. She picks up the mess and covers him up. He deserves a rest. He stirs some as she pulls up his covers, but he won't wake up. He's getting a well-deserved sleep. She kisses his cheek.

She closes his door and moves on. She soon comes to Raph's door. She debates on knocking. She decides against it, figuring it's better to at least _try_ to not upset him. He's bad enough _off_ painkillers as it is. ON them makes a normal Raph seem tame. Well, tam_er._

She opens the door some, sliding in and closing it behind her. Before she can move, a sai is thrown at her. It surprises her that she was expecting that. She jumps out of the way to escape an injury to her arm. She almost laughs. Raph must be just fine.

"Ya know, I'd like to live ta see if ya survived," Lee says walking toward him imitating his accent.

He instantly turns over. She hears him pull in a sharp breath. "Lee," he says through clenched teeth. "I…I though it was Leo."

She smiles as she sits down. "I think Mikey was right. A brick to throw at'cha would have been a good idea."

Raph growls down in his throat. "Remind me to kill him later."

Lee's smile fades. "Sorry. I beat'cha to it."

He looks at her funny. "What?"

"Yeah. Seems he had a heart attack when I told him how nice you are to me." She laughs as she ducks a swing to her head. Her laugh stops though when she sees him squeeze his eyes shut and lower his arm slowly.

She hasn't gotten a chance to actually looked him over yet. His right arm is totally wrapped from shoulder to hand because of cuts and bruises (possibly a broken bone), and he has his left shoulder wrapped. She moves his blankets to see wraps on his left leg, a small one on his right, and one wrapped around his waist. Her hand moves over that one. The blood had gone all the way through before it stopped. That must have been what almost killed him.

She meets Raph's eyes before she suddenly wraps her arms around him. "Don't you ever scare me like that again. I thought I'd lost you." She doesn't ever want to let go. Never again.

Raph groans as she hugs him, but he doesn't mind the pain. He slowly wraps his good arm around her. "Now don't go gettin' all teary eyed on me. I don't feel like gettin' wet."

Lee slowly sits up to keep from hurting his shoulder. She smiles when she sees the weird look on his face. "What's wrong?"

He grins at her. "Did Mikey make pancakes? I swear I smell pancakes."

Lee laughs. "Yeah, you're going to be just fine." She rubs her arm. "Actually I figured that out when I almost got stabbed in the arm."

He laughs. It's a small one to keep from hurting his side, but it's a laugh. "If that was Leo, I wouldn't have minded at all. Donnie told me how he had worried you to death. He shouldn't have let his guard down." He pauses. "That's why you passed the guy off to me wasn't it?"

Lee looks down. "I don't know how I would have lived with myself if you hadn't made it."

Raph immediately sits up. He ignores all of his pain. He takes her by her shoulders. "Look at me. None of this was your fault. Got it? Stop beating yourself up."

"But we wouldn't have been in that mess if it wasn't for me in the first place!" Lee jerks away from Raph. She was tired of people telling her it wasn't her fault when she knew it was.

"How was it your fault Lee?" Raph says quietly. He just waits for her to answer.

She stops, suddenly uncomfortable. "I… I'll tell you all when you all want to know." Lee turns around to leave but stops when Raph tries to get up. "NO! You are not getting up! Lay down! I'll have Leo… no… Mikey bring you some food." She mumbles to herself how it wasn't safe for Leo just yet after what Raph had said earlier.

"I can get it myself. I ain't crippled."

Lee pushes him down. "I say you are. Now stay down."

Lee hears him grumble about being treated like a kid as she leaves. She almost laughs. She can't resist. She opens the door again and says, "Maybe you shouldn't _act_ like one." She closes the door in time to escape another flying sai. It hits a door with a thud. She turns to walk away, fully knowing it was never going to come near its target.

She goes out to where Leo and Mikey are and lays down on the couch. "Hey Mikey! Raph's hungry. Be careful when you go in there though."

"Why be careful?" Mikey stops what he's doing and looks at Lee puzzled.

"He's a little cranky. It could be the death of you."

"What?"

"I was almost stabbed in the arm. Twice. I don't know if he has more, but I dodged both of them. Don't worry. The first one was because I came in without a warning. I was strangely expecting that one. The second was for teasing him about his grumbling."

"Yeah, he hates that," Mikey replies walking toward Raph's room with a plate.

"Just knock and tell him you have pancakes. That'll make him happy."


	7. Chapter 7

**Ch. 7**

Lee falls asleep. She wakes up later very sore. And… in her room? One of the others must have carried her in. She looks at the time. Wow. She must have been tired. It's 6:00. She had slept all day. Just then, Donnie comes in.

"Hey. How're you doin'?" he asks coming to sit on the edge of her bed.

"I think the painkillers wore off," she answers groaning as she sits up. "My back is killing me."

He gives her some pills before hugging her. "I'm so glad you're okay. Because Raph wouldn't let me use as much as he needed, you were the second most drugged up after Mikey."

She smiles. "Which reminds me. What did you do to him to make him feel good enough to make pancakes this morning? I figured you drugged him up a ton."

"No," Don says laughing. "He was hurting some. He just didn't show it. He said he'd make your favorite breakfast if it killed him."

"That's Mikey for ya." She tries to stand up.

"Here. It'll take a few minutes for the pills to start working." He picks her up and carries her out.

Lee sees the others all in chairs around the couch. Even Raph, only he's _on_ the couch. She grins. "Couldn't keep Raph in bed huh?"

"That's an understatement," Leo answers.

"I'd punch ya if you were closer to my good side," Raph says glaring at him.

"He has a good side?" Mikey says to Leo. He can only duck as Raph throws a pillow at him. "Whoa, hey! I was kidding!" He laughs, pretending to throw it back.

Donnie comes between them with Lee to set her on the couch. He knows Raph wouldn't dare try to get to Mikey when he could hurt her. He sets her next to Raph and sits down in his own chair. "Okay. Tell us why you're blaming yourself."

"You all cornered me huh?" Lee asks as she slowly makes herself comfortable.

"Yep," they all answer at once.

She sighs. "Alright then." She settles down, thinking back to the first day. "One day I got this text message. It was a wrong number, but I answered it anyway. It started out as a joke. We started texting back and forth for about five months until he said he wanted to meet me."

Here Mikey interrupts. "At least we have free texting."

Raph glares at him but doesn't dare move. Lee is stabling herself against him. "Shuddup Mikey. Let her tell the story."

"We made plans to meet at a pizza place we both knew. We told each other to wear something we'd know each other by. I was going to wear my pendant necklace. It was noticeable enough."

"Little did _we_ know that it was more interesting than it looks," Donnie interrupts.

"Donnie! Don't interr… Wait. Huh? What did ya do to the pendant I gave you?" Raph sits back with an amused look.

Lee grins back. "I hollowed it out and fit a flash drive inside it. A special flash drive that I had expanded its memory and put some useful stuff on it."

Raph's smile gets bigger. "I told ya she'd like it enough to wear it all the time."

"I never take it off." Lee continues the story. "At the last minute I put it under my shirt. I decided to see what he was like. I waited for him for a few minutes before he came in. He looked decent. He wore a rocker t-shirt and some decent jeans. He didn't _look_ to bad either."

At this all of them roll their eyes. Especially Raph. Lee notices the jealous look he's trying to hide. She almost smiles but suppresses it. She ignores them all and continues.

"I then messaged him to say I couldn't make it. That one of my friends was sick, that they needed my help, and that I was sorry. He messaged me back saying it was okay and asked me about the next Friday. I told him I could probably make it."

"Why didn't you just decide to talk to him?" Leo asks.

"I don't know," Lee answers. "I felt that something wasn't right. I wanted to sort of follow him to see what he did, where he went, and how he acted. I followed him at a very good distance. I won't go into details on where we went, but he never saw me. I followed him into the night. I wanted to make sure he wasn't in any of those gangs and stuff ya know?"

"That was smart," Donnie comments.

"You guys have taught me to be too careful," Lee answers.

"You can never be too careful," Leo says.

Lee continues. "When I followed him into a warehouse, _the_ warehouse, I knew I had felt right. He looked like the gang type. He just looked it. Ya know the big tough guy type? Muscles and all. I don't know. He just looked it. I never expected what I saw though. All of those people. The ones we fought. They were a new group. Though we disposed of them when you found me."

Here everyone laughs.

"They never had a chance against us," Mikey laughs.

"They were good though," Leo says. "It's actually good we got rid of them before they got stronger."

Donnie turns to Lee, grinning. "Go ahead."

"I should have left right then and there. I knew I shouldn't have done what I did, but I did it anyway. I snuck around to find out more information. To find out who their leader was and all. That's what hurt me. I knew that going in alone was bad enough, but I also knew that every second I was in there, I was endangering all of our lives. But, I ignored my feelings." She looks down. "I led us into all of that. The worry… the fight… the pain… all of it."

Raph feels that there's something more. He puts his arm around her shoulders. "Lee, what happened?"

"Raph, maybe she doesn't want to-"

She interrupts him. "No, it's okay." She leans her head on Raph, thinking about what happened. "I found their leader, I had made a mental map of the place, and I was about to leave. I became careless. At least it wasn't stupid like knocking something over, but it was bad enough. I didn't hear someone coming up behind me, and out of my surprise, I made too much noise getting rid of him. Then they all surrounded me."

"Dude! Lee, did ya kick some butt?" Mikey asks excitedly. This makes Lee smile some. It sort of cheers her up. Mikey's good at that.

"You bet I did Mikey." She continues. "I did whatever I could to get out of there, but 30 guys later, I was hit hard by a lot of them. I was getting tired. Fighting alone wasn't easy. Especially after one of the first five knocks you on the head with a piece of plywood you threw at him."

Raph laughs. A real laugh this time. "You fought off 30 guys after being hit in the head with plywood! You do better than I do considering your head isn't as tough as mine!" Raph says squeezing her shoulder.

Mikey turns to Donnie. "I could really make some jokes about that."

Raph ignores him only because he's listening to Lee.

"Yeah. The blood on my head when you found me was from that hit. I was surprised I didn't pass out when I realized how bad the hit was."

"_That_ was from the hit that guy gave you! It was still bleeding! How was it still bleeding?" Raph was at a loss. There was no way she could have survived with her head bleeding like that all the time.

"I'll get to that. Anyway, their leader finally comes up to us and stops the fight. Just in time too. I collapse as he walks up to me. I don't remember anything else. I wake up chained. It's totally dark." She slows down to think. She remembers the throbbing in her head. Feeling the blood on her face. The fear of being alone. In the dark.

"Lee? You okay?" They all notice the change. Only Raph comments.

"Yeah. I'm just… remembering. I remember waking up. It was always pitch dark in there. They always kept it dark. Their leader always came in to ask me questions. Why I was there. I told him I followed one of his guys. He asked my why. I said I don't know. He asked me who I lived with. I told him friends. He seemed to somehow know it was you guys. He asked me where. I wouldn't answer. Not to any other questions either. He thought I was out to spy for you. He wanted to find you and kill you. I wouldn't answer and it always made him mad."

"You put up with everything for two weeks!" Mikey asks incredulously.

She blinks. "Two weeks? Is that all it was? It seemed like months." She composes herself before continuing. "He came in all the time to mock me and say how I was alone. How no one was coming." She stares off into space.

Raph takes her hand. "I'm here," he murmurs.

"I hurt all the time. He never stopped hurting me. He made sure everyday that I was either bleeding or gasping in pain. He kept the gash on my head open. He broke my ribs. He almost killed my family." Lee looks up at them with tears in her eyes.

"Hey." Raph holds her close as she starts to cry. "'Sokay. We're all here now and we're all okay. 'Sokay now."

She doesn't answer this time. She just lets out all of her pain from the past weeks out. She cries as everyone takes turns holding her. She finally falls asleep in Mikey's arms. She felt so safe with all of her friends.

Mike carries her to her room later and Raph follows, covering her up when Mike puts her to bed. Raph stays with her for a while before going to his room. The others soon go to theirs and go to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ch. 8**

She's watching the fight. She's watching herself kill the leader of the new gang of people._ What's wrong? Why am I seeing this?_ she thinks to herself. It then zooms out to see someone standing to the side watching.

"I will get you for this. Someday you will pay." The dark figure slips away into the shadows. About 20 others follow. The image fades out. _Wait! What's happening!_

Lee wakes up with a feeling of dread. She plays the dream over in her head again and again. Then, it hits her. She knows what it was telling her. It's not over yet. She sits up and gets her notebook by her bed. She starts writing a note three times. Each time tearing it out, crumbling it up, and throwing it away. She doesn't know how to explain how she feels. What she's about to do.

She sighs and leans against the wall. She relaxes and starts writing. This is what comes out:

_Two weeks of torture,_

_Two weeks of pain,_

_Two weeks of blood,_

_That will always leave a stain._

_Two weeks of fighting,_

_Two weeks of fear,_

_Two weeks of trying,_

_Not to shed a tear._

_Two weeks of waiting,_

_Two weeks of strife,_

_Two weeks of trying,_

_Not to leave your life._

_Two weeks takes a toll,_

_When you wait and no one comes,_

_And you captor just keeps beating,_

_The breath from your lungs._

_One day close to death,_

_One day you are found,_

_But when you are picked up,_

_Your pain follows from the ground._

_Rescue cannot help,_

_The pain you've already faced,_

_You just have to find,_

_Love to put in its place._

_But when you think you've found,_

_The one to patch you up inside, _

_Pain holds you to the ground,_

_The hurt you thought you left behind._

_You hurt the ones you love,_

_So they don't have to sit in,_

_The pain that's all around you,_

_And hope to be forgiven._

_You've caused them lots of problems,_

_You've caused them lots of pain,_

_You leave them with the hope,_

_That they start over again._

Lee wipes a tear mark off the paper and tears it out after reading it over. Her heart poured out on paper. This is what she'll leave for them. It will tell them all they need to know. Hopefully they'll understand. She can't stay here. She has to keep her family safe.

She gets up and gets her bag. She gets a few pair of jeans and some black t-shirts and jackets. She puts one of each on and goes to her unknown room. She gets her sai and nunchuck. She puts them in her bag and turns to leave.

As she turns, she stops. She goes over to her desk and picks up a bandana. It's a red bandana. One of Raph's. She fingers the torn ends and smiles to herself. It was the one she had taken from Donnie's room when she went in to check on him. The one hereplaced for Raph after the fight that night.

Lee takes it and puts it in her bag. She doesn't plan on coming back. If only she had one from each of them. She sighs. She grabs her black pocketknife (the one that Casey had given her when she told him that they wouldn't give her a weapon) from her desk and leaves the room.

She grabs her papers and looks at the clock. It's 3:00. She had a while to get out before them waking up. Even so, you never know when one of them will randomly wake up. She decides to leave then.

She creeps out of her room and to the kitchen. She puts her bag down where no one will see it in case one of them _does_ wake up and opens the fridge. She grabs any food she can find that won't go bad too fast. Mostly leftover pizza. Probably left over from when she was gone. There is no way they would ever leave more than a half of a pizza left. They were obviously just trying to cheer up Mikey.

She really feels bad about leaving them now. She ignores her sadness and puts it all in her bag and goes to the table. She puts the poem there where they'll find it. She heads toward the door. When she's about to step out, she gets a thought. She puts her bag down and quietly runs back to the table. She grabs her pen and writes down a last stanza. The perfect ending to this poem.

_You almost turn around,_

_When you're walking out the door,_

_But you don't want to pull them,_

_To the ground anymore._

She puts scribbles a quick note down and lays down the pen. She looks around the room one last time. Mikey's comics and video games all over the floor, Leo's books on the table, Donnie's tools and laptop, and… no… Raph's stuff is all in his room.

She sighs, throwing her bag over her shoulder and heading out the door. If she went to see everyone one last time, they could wake up. It's better not to take that chance. She goes through the dark tunnels and climbs out into an ally. It's two hours from when she woke up.

She puts her bag down behind a dumpster. She'll be back for it later. She wants to go somewhere real quick before she leaves. She leaps up stairs, and other levels to the roof she and Raph would hang out. She goes to the corner that they would sit together. Then she hears something behind her. She whirls around to face Raph.

"Geeze Raph! Don't do that to me!" she yells. She was really hoping he didn't already read the note. Hopefully he was already up here or he somehow missed it.

"Sorry." He looks at Lee. "What's wrong? You never get scared this easily."

"Nothin'. I'm just still a little jumpy."

Raph's expression softens. Lee is the only one who really gets to see his soft side. "I'm sorry." He goes and sits down. She sits down next to him, unable to tear herself away from him just yet. He turns to her. "Why are you up so early?"

"I… I couldn't sleep. You?"

"Me neither. I was thinkin'."

"About what?"

"You."

She was somewhat expecting that answer, but it still surprises her. Why would he be thinking about her? Maybe he was still worried? No. He didn't look worried. Looks. Hmmm. Lee looks Raph over in the corner of her eye. Some bandages are gone but the cuts are still visible. He looks a lot better. She still looks horrible. "Why would you be thinking about me?" she asks as she looks him over.

"You serious?" He turns to her. His hand finds hers. "I was running a question through my head." He stands up, pulling her up with him. His eyes are shifting nervously. "Do you love me?"

Lee is taken back. She quells her true emotions and answers. "Of course I love you. I love you all."

"No. I… I mean… do you _love_ me. Ya know? Closer than a brother?" He doesn't wait for an answer. "Because… I love you." He looks her in the eyes. "I… I almost went insane when we couldn't find you. Every waking hour I couldn't _breathe_ knowing that you were somewhere maybe dieing. I… I couldn't rest until I found you. I would fall exhausted and sleep for hours because I was looking for you so often."

She doesn't know what to say. She wants to throw her arms around him and tell him how much she loves him. She wants to be held in his arms forever. But she can't. She has to leave. She wants to cry, but if she's going to pull this off, she has to be strong.

"When I found you, and I thought I was too late, I… I felt my heart break. And again, when you left me, when I thought it was truly over… I couldn't keep from letting all of my anger come out."

It takes all of Lee's self control to keep from showing any sign of her emotions.

"And… when I saw you jump down in front of me, at one of my weakest times, I knew that I had to be dreaming. It couldn't be real. But it was. You're alive. I don't want to let something else happen to you before I tell you how I really feel." He stops. He looks Lee in the eyes. "Do you love me?"

Lee takes a few seconds to make sure that she wasn't going to cry. She had waited for this for a long time. She wanted so bad to tell him that she loved him more than he can imagine. But she doesn't. She won't let him stay in danger.

She takes a few breaths to keep everything in. She looks at him and says the one sentence that she had never wanted to say. "I'm sorry. I… I don't love you like that." Her heart breaks at how he takes a step away from her like she just punched him in the stomach. "I… I love you so much. But, just as a brother."

She doesn't wait to see anymore. She leaps down to the ground, grabs her bag, and starts running. She barely turns a corner before she starts crying. She knows she just broke his heart. She knows the hurt look she saw in his eyes. She can't bare the thought that it was because of her. That it was her that hurt him that way.

She keeps on running. Running away from all of her family. She had to keep them safe at all costs. The cost is her heart. Her love. She can never tell Raph the truth. She would always have to lie to him. _I'm sorry Raph. I'm so, so sorry._

_

* * *

_

Raph walks through the sewers. Why had she run away like that? Was she afraid he'd yell at her? Did she think that since she said she didn't love him like that, that he wouldn't love her anymore?

He was trying to figure Lee out. He had sat on the roof for another half hour, letting himself let out his emotions. His sadness at rejection, his anger of being different, and his worry over what he had done to make her run away. He let out all of his emotions before starting home. He never lets anyone see him sad unless it was Lee. Even then…

He is still thinking those questions when he gets home. He goes through the door, takes one look at everyone, and freezes. Now he is really confused. Why does everyone look so sad? He walks toward them. "What's wrong?"

They all look at each other, not knowing what to tell him. Donnie holds up a paper. Leo and Mikey on either side of him avoid Raph's eyes. Donnie looks away too. This gives Raph a very bad feeling at the pit of his stomach. "Guys? What's wrong?"

Leo can only utter two words. "She's gone."

At first Raph can only think _Who?_ Then he remembers Lee grabbing a bag as she ran away. "No. No… she can't be gone. I… I just talked to her. Up on the roof. There must be a mistake." He walks forward and reads the poem on the paper. There's a note at the bottom.

_I'm sorry guys. I had to leave. It's not over yet. Those guys are out to get me. I left to keep you guys from getting hurt. Maybe if I lead them far enough away, I might come back. I'm sorry for leaving like this, but the poem explains everything. Don't try to find me. You won't. I'm not staying anywhere close. I love you all. Leo, keep them together, Mikey, keep them happy, Donnie, keep them all in one piece, and Raph, please understand. Please stay safe. If you do one thing for me, just stay safe. Keep the guys safe okay? I'll miss you. I'm sorry._

_Love,_

_Analie_

"No. Please no. She… she was just on the roof with me. She… she ran away with… a… backpack." Raph makes sense of what he saw. "Oh no." He collapses in a chair next to the others. He can't stand. He reads the writing again and again. Written with so much emotion. Why hadn't she told him? He could have helped her. "It was my fault you guys."

"Raph no." Leo won't take any of this. He doesn't want his brother to go spiraling into a depression again like he did when Lee was taken. He couldn't take that again. "She left because she loves us." Leo puts an arm around Raph and is surprised when he doesn't push it away. "She wanted to keep us safe."

"We're going to find her right Leo?" Mikey asks. His face falls as Leo shakes his head. "We can't just leave her out there! What if they kill her!"

"Mikey! She left! She left so that we _wouldn't_ get hurt. We're not going after her!" Raph stands up from the table and storms toward his room. "It was her choice. Why should we go after her?"

His door slams and the sound echoes throughout the lair. The others look at each other. Had Raph just said he _wasn't_ going after her? "This must have hurt him pretty bad," Donnie says looking from Mikey to Leo. "What are we going to do?"

Leo sits in the now empty chare, putting his forehead to his palms as he leans on the table. "I don't know. We don't know where she went. We know nothing. Maybe if we wait, we'll find something out."


	9. Chapter 9

**Ch. 9**

_Crap!_ That's all she thinks as she climbs the steps to April's apartment. She had hoped to stay away from everyone. But… plans can change in a second. She had been just outside New York when some guys jumped her. They were sent by _the_ guy. The one who was after her.

She had almost successfully gotten away when one of them swiped a knife along her side. She took the rest of the guys out (there were only 10) and wrapped her jacket around her cut. It looked to anyone who didn't know that she had just tied her jacket around her waist. But, to her, it hurt like crap.

Climbing up the stairs to April's apartment was the last thing Lee wanted to do right now, but after a week on your own, and a cut that went really deep, sometimes you needed help. That wasn't the only thing though. If Lee had been at the top of her game, she wouldn't have been hurt. She's sick.

She had caught a bad cough from someone who had collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk as she was walking through New York. She had called for help and had found out that they had had pneumonia. She had started out only with the cough, but the cough had steadily gotten worse. Climbing April's stairs now was a killer.

As much as she hated to admit it, it was stupid to go off on her own. As much as she wished _this_ wasn't true, if she wasn't worried about the others finding out she was dead via the news, she wouldn't care if she _was_ killed. But, she didn't want to cause them any more pain ever again.

_As soon as I kill the stupid guy I'm coming home_ she thinks to herself. _Not until then._ She gets to April's door and hopes and prays that she is alone. She coughs and almost doubles over from the pain in her side as April opens the door.

"Lee! You're back! What's wrong? Are you okay?" She sees Lee holding her side and takes her to sit down in a chair in the living room. "Donnie told me you didn't plan on coming back."

"Yeah, well, when people attack and you're sick, it takes too much energy and work to keep them from hurting you. Then when you're hurt, it feels worse than when you were just sick." She takes the jacket off her waist and shows April what happened.

"Ouch. That looks pretty deep," she says moving Lee's shirt out of the way. "Maybe I should call Donnie to look at that. Infection could get bad."

"No! You can't tell any of them I'm here! I just need a little rest without worrying that someone's going to jump me, to patch this scratch up… and a shower would be wonderful." She sees April's worried look. "Don't worry. I've survived worse. Trust me."

"I won't tell anyone on one condition." She takes Lee's jacket and bag to her room so that if anyone does come, they won't see it.

Lee holds her side and leans over some as she follows April. "What's that?"

April turns to Lee. "Talk to me and listen to me. I want answers and I want you to hear what's been going on since you left." She goes to her dresser. "First though, go get a shower." She throws Lee a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans. They wear practically the same size in clothes so it wasn't a big change. The jeans are just a little long.

Lee goes to take a shower. She loves the hot water and totally relaxes. Until she feels the water sting her cut. She ignores the pain and runs her fingers through her hair. She grits her teeth when the shampoo gets into her cut but still tries to ignore it.

She gets out and wraps the cut up. She slowly puts on the jeans and sighs in relief when the waist stops under the cut. She puts on the shirt and uses a black hair tie to tie off the extra length of the shirt so that it stops above it. Her stomach shows but it's better than letting the shirt rub against her.

She walks out and sits down on the couch as April comes to join her. She gets a little worried when Lee coughs. "How're you feeling?"

"Much better. Just got a cough."

April still isn't sure, but she doesn't push it. "Okay. I'll take your word for it. Anyway, I'll cut to the chase. What made you go away?"

Lee tells her all about everything from when Raph rescued her. She leaves out the part of her talk with Raph. "I never planned on coming back. I just… didn't want to get too hurt to complete my mission."

April sits back to process all of the information. "Don came over and had me read the poem you wrote when you left. He told me just yesterday that things weren't going well with the others. He says Mike isn't his usual self, Leo always looks sad or worried, and Raph…"

Lee's heart sinks. "What's wrong with Raph?"

April sighs. "Oh Lee. He's a complete wreck. Donnie said it worried all of them when after reading the note he stormed off saying how they didn't need to go after you. Leo says he's really worried. Raph hasn't even started a fight with him since you left. We all know that's unusual for Raph. Leo says he always walks around as a ghost and leaves or disappears for long periods of time. Well… more than usual. Leo worries every time he's gone because it's so long before he comes home. He's going to die from all of the stress. But Raph…"

Lee puts her head in her hands. "I'm so sorry Raph," she whispers.

"Something went on between you didn't it? There's more reason to his pain isn't there?" April had always known the two were close, but she is still surprised when Lee tells her how close. She is even more surprised when Lee tells her how she lied to Raph to keep him from coming after her.

"I can't imagine his pain," Lee was saying. "He never shows it when he's sad." Lee's eyes start to water at the realization of how much she had hurt him.

April puts her arm around her. "There's still time to fix things."

"April… I can't go back. I'm not going back until I'm sure those guys are dead."

Suddenly, Casey comes in the door. He walks quickly past them. "I have to call the guys. I saw some of the people who had hurt…" He turns around. "Lee!"

Lee jumps up. Her emotions are pushed away. To replace them comes adrenaline. "Casey! You said you saw the guys!"

Casey takes it all in stride. "Yeah. They were coming this way."

She freezes, face darkening. "I just came back today. How did they… wait." She runs to April's room. She comes back out with her bag. She searches through it and stops suddenly. She turns around to show them a tiny black object. A tracker. "They must have put it on my bag during the fight. It was only a diversion."

"I'll call the guys and we'll…"

"Casey no! I have to go to them myself. I don't want anyone else getting hurt."

"But Lee, you can't fight those guys alone!"

"Watch me." She takes the gloves from her bag and puts them on.

"Okay. Wait a sec then." April disappears and comes back with a hair thing and a black bandana. "Here." She pulls Lee's hair back and wraps the bandana around it, tying it in a knot so that the tails fall down. "Now your hair will be out of your way. I know mine gives me trouble."

Lee smiles at her and starts to run out the door when Casey calls out. "Lee wait!" He runs up to her. "You at least aren't going without me."

She sighs. "Casey…"

"No. Listen. I wouldn't be able to live with myself telling the guys that you're dead without even trying to help you. Even if they forgave me, I would never forgive myself." He grabs his bag. "Let's go."

She doesn't argue. There's no point. She'd never win. "Alright. Just stay out of it as long as you can."

"Only until I think you need help," he promises. "Okay. What's the plan?"

* * *

Lee walks to the middle of the roof. A different roof. It's too close to _her_ roof than she would like, but she knows that this was where they should come to her. Now it's time to wait. She stands in the middle of the building as she waits. Casey is close by, hidden and waiting in case she needs his help. Everything is set.

She drops the tracker on the ground. She doesn't need it anymore. They think she doesn't know about it. She's using it to lure them here. It will hopefully keep Raph and the others from knowing this is happening. She hears someone coming. _Keep my back Case_ she thinks to herself as the figure appears in front of her.

Many more people come around and circle Lee as she stares into the leader's eyes. Well… the new leader. He walks up to her. "It's about time I caught up to you. I didn't think you'd be coming back so soon."

Lee smiles. "Yeah well it seemed as if you wanted to find me. Considering I found a tracker on my bag. You obviously didn't care if you lost a few men."

"You're alone. Why would I need other people?"

"Maybe I'm stronger than you think."

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into," he replies.

Lee grins. "Neither do you." She leaps up into the air and flips over backwards landing on her feet as the circle closes suddenly. As she lands, more people show up. _Shhhhoot _she replaces the swear she was thinking. _Where did they all come from! There were only twenty that left that night!_

"Casey!" She calls out his name as she starts to fight. She vaguely notices him leap to her as she spins, blocks, and… falls? She hits the ground and waits for a killing strike from one of the many people around her. It never comes.

Casey had seen that this was worse than either of them suspected when he saw more men gathering around the base of the building below. He had called Don and told him where they were. They had gotten there in record time. As Lee had hit the ground, Mikey had pummeled the guys away and Donnie jumped in front of her. Leo takes up fighting and Raph… is nowhere to be seen.

Lee gets up with a heavy heart as she realizes this and starts fighting again. She would live to tell him the truth, she promises herself as she fights. She pushes back a few guys when her feet are kicked out from under her. She is kicked again in the stomach and the force of the kick is enough to send her rolling over the edge of the roof.

"Lee!" Leo calls out.

Her hand is slipping. Her attacker walks up to the edge and poises his foot over her hand. She closes her eyes. "Ahhh!" He stomps on her hand once. She doesn't let go. She won't let her family stay to fight this fight without her. "Ahhh!" His foot crushes her fingers again. She tries to reach up as her hand slips.

* * *

He had never expected that Lee would actually be back. Whenever she says something, she means it. So when his brothers told him she was back, he thought they were saying that so he would follow them. He had went up to the roof and was running off some steam on the roof tops when her heard her yell. He would know that yell anywhere. He takes off running.

He finds a huge fight taking place on a deserted worn down building's roof. He immediately jumps into the fight and makes his way toward a lone figure on the edge of the roof. He sees the figure stomp down and hears the yell again. He launches himself at the guy and reaches for the hand slipping away from the edge.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ch. 10**

When she feels a hand around her wrist, she thinks surely it's Leo. But when she wraps _her_ hand around his wrist as she watches her attacker fall down to the ground, she feels a scar. Her face jerks up and she's looking into Raph's eyes. "Raph." It was a whisper, but even Raph knew it was a heartfelt one.

He pulls her up and sets her down before joining in the fight. He stays right next to her. He isn't ready to talk to her yet, but he isn't going to let anything happen to her before he gets the chance. If he has to, when he got home he was going to lock her up in her room so that she couldn't leave again.

Things are going great. Then something happens. A huge guy comes up. No, two huge guys. They come up with huge swords and seemed to pummel anyone in their way. Mikey is the first to go down. Well… only because he was the closest.

"Mike!" Leo calls out.

He runs over trying to keep the guys at bay. It works for a while, then he's down.

"Leo!" Raph calls.

"No Raph! Don't!" Don is too late. Raph is already headed that way.

Don and Casey run after Raph as Lee watches helplessly, held back by the swarm of men in front of her. She knows what they're doing. She is backed away from them by all of the other men. She calls out as they all are struck down one at a time. Her nightmare comes to life.

The huge guys stand around them as the fight stops. The leader walks up to Lee, signaling for the others to stand down. "I'll give you a choice. You surrender to me, and I might let you're friends go free. Or you can keep fighting and watch them all die." As he talks to Lee, everyone is tied up with very thick rope. There is no escape unless one of them could cut through. But they couldn't. All weapons are taken.

Raph and Don are on their knees, and Leo and Mikey lay on the ground. They had gotten the worst of everything. But, then there's Casey. He was a wreck too. He sits leaning against Don as blood runs down his face. He looks horrible. Lee thinks of her reply as she looks them over. He's not going to lay a finger on them.

"Let them go. You won't set them free if I surrender."

"Yes I will."

"No you won't. Let them go and _then_ I'll surrender."

"You won't surrender."

"Yes I will."

He was tired of playing this game. He walks over to Raph and Don as Lee watches in horror. "Let my men tie you up, or I'll kill him."

Lee stands rigid. He has Raph's own sai at his neck. Raph just sits there with a look of such calm. He looks Lee in the eyes. His message is clear. Don't do it. It's that simple for him. Lee doesn't know what to do. She loves him. It hits her like a wrecking ball. She loves him. She can't lose him. Not him. Never him. She'd die before he lays a finger on him.

"You better make up your mind fast." He pushes the sai into Raph's neck and a stream of blood runs down it.

Lee tenses as she sees Raph clench his teeth but not make a sound. Then he talks. "Don't do it Lee." His eyes are cool amber, but darken a little when the sai goes a little deeper. His determination never wavers. He loves her. He can't lose her. Not her. Never her. He'd die before he lays a finger on her.

"Stop."

Everyone looks at Lee. She drops her sai and a sword she had picked up. She falls to her knees in defeat. She doesn't move as three men come up and tie her hands behind her back. She hears Raph sigh as she looks away from him. They stand her up and hold her in front of their leader.

"I've never bothered you giving me my name. It doesn't matter now. You will now die a slow painful death in front of your friends. Just like you did to my brother." He walks around her as she glares at him. Suddenly he punches her in the face.

She is vaguely aware of Raph cussing the guy out with everything he had in him. She could laugh if she wasn't concentrating. She turns so that she lands on her shoulder when she hits the ground. This keeps the breath from getting knocked out of her. She has a plan and she needs her breath to do it. Her hands behind her back give her easy reach to the pocketknife. She gets it out.

He walks up to her and kicks her in the stomach. He smiles evilly at the good sized yell he gets out of her. Then he sees something shiny behind her back. "Oh no. I was going to go easy on you. Now, since you tried to cheat, you won't get out easy." He snatches the knife away and throws it to the opposite side of the roof.

Lee rolls over onto her back. The leader walks over and takes one of Casey's bats and swings it around. "Interesting weapon choice. Too bad he didn't realize that this could be your death weapon. A very slow killing weapon." He swings the bat down on Lee.

Lee cries out. A loud smack is heard echoing around them. Raph starts swearing like there's no tomorrow. He's struggling to get away. Don is trying to keep him calm. Why? Because he noticed something. Lee's hands are free. He also knows their escape.

Lee jumps up twisting the bat over her shoulder freeing it from her opponent's hands. She swings it and watches in satisfaction as it slams into his arm and a loud crack is heard. She starts to swing again when she his hit from behind and falls to the ground. Someone puts a rope around her neck. She looks at her hands. Blood red. They were going to hurt. _That is why you don't catch a bat in your bare hands._

She watches as her new tormenter stands over her. One of the big guys throws him a huge sword. She lays her head on the ground. What to do, what to do. She looks around. There is no way to get out of this one. She has trouble breathing as the rope is pulled tight and she watches the sword.

She sees the light of the moon, shine on the blade as it is lifted over her head. She closes her eyes. There was no way she is getting out of this one. She's done. She waits for the sword to lower. Then, she hears a sound.

She opens her eyes to Raph. His sai is between Lee and the sword. Don is also up and attacking anyone going to help their leader. He had cut their ropes. Lee doesn't know how, but he did. She looks up as Raph struggles to lift the sword. She notices it's because he's only using one hand. The other is cutting the rope around her neck. "We got'chyer back," he says pushing the leader away.

Now free, she rolls out of Raph's way and tries to catch her breath. She takes many deep breaths before she can get back up. She feels her hands sting as she pushes on the ground but ignores them. She grabs Leo's katanas and attacks.

She knows she doesn't use them as good as Leo, she's more of a sai person, but she uses them for better reach. She is up and fighting when she hears Don call out. She turns to see him hit the ground and not get up. One of the huge guys stands by and holds a sword in his hand.

Lee attacks. She moves too quick for him and because of her size, she easily gets out of his way. She finally gets the perfect moment to come up from behind and go for the throat. She goes strait to the other guy so that she didn't have to worry about him.

This is the unarmed one. She makes easy work of him and goes to check on Don. "Don! Don, please get up!" She nudges him trying to see if he's okay. "Don?" He doesn't move.

Someone behind her cries out.

Lee turns toward the sound. Raph hits the ground and rolls a few feet before struggling to get up. She knows that Raph has been hurt way too much. She sees him stand to his feet again before getting attacked and held back by other men. The leader turns to Lee.

This has turned into Lee's worst nightmare yet again. Leo, Mikey, Casey, and Don could possibly be dieing and Raph's life is in her hands. She attacks before the leader knows what's coming. Twisting and turning, she fights off a few men as she also fights the leader. When it is one on one together (besides a few men guarding Raph and the others) the leader turns to words.

"Why do you fight for them? They don't love you. They left you with us for two weeks! They didn't care about finding you."

"That's not true!"

"Oh? Then why do I see pain behind your eyes? Someone hurt you. What about the way they didn't come after you when you left?"

"I told them not to come!" She is wearing down. She is cut in the leg and almost loses all control. She catches herself, just in time to keep the blade from penetrating too far into her arm. She gets away with only a cut.

"If they really loved you they would have come after you! They didn't care!"

He swings the blade a few times. Before Lee knows what's happening, her weapons are gone, she's cut in the arm again, and she's on the ground. She lays there, catching her breath, as her tormenter walks circles around her. She starts to stand up. She hears Raph cussing him out. She almost smiles to herself. She swears sometimes that he's going to die cussing. But not today. Not today. She won't allow it.

"Answer me this. Did they come after you when you left?"

"No."

"Did they rescue you from my brother in time? I don't know how you lived, but it was something extraordinary. If whatever happened didn't happen, would you be here in front of me right now?"

"No."

"Interesting. Now one more question. Did you ever doubt their affection?"

There is a slight pause. Then she answers, looking up at him through the hair in her eyes, glaring him with all she had. "Yes."

The cussing from Raph stops. She hears Raph and Leo gasp. She could almost hear the hurt in Raph's gasp. She ignores it. She would make up for that in a second. At least she knows Leo is okay now. She keeps her eyes on the man circling her.

"Then why do you risk your life for them? How do you know _they_ love _you_?" He stops circling her and faces her.

Lee stands up tall. "Because they told me so." She lunges toward the katanas and rolls to her feet attacking her attacker again. "Because they saved me more times than I can count." She spins around to keep a strike from stabbing her in the shoulder. He goes for her side and succeeds. She feels pain shoot through her side too. She ignores it.

"Because they cared about me enough to not follow me when I needed to be alone." She jumps to get away from a swipe to her feet. Her attacker is getting tired now. She advances on him again and again getting a strike to the arm, then the leg, then his side. She locks blades with him.

"And you know what? Whether they love me or not, I love them. And _nothing_… is going to change that." She ends his life without remorse with a few more strikes to the stomach and then the heart. All of the other men slink into the night afraid to go on without their leader.

Lee stands back. She drops her arms and turns around. Raph gasps as he sees blood running down her side. There is a lot of it. _Not good._

The katanas fall from her hands.


	11. Chapter 11

**Ch. 11**

He wants to run to her. To pick her up and tell her how much he loves her. How much those things their attacker had said wasn't true. How much he cares. He only watches as she falls to her hands and knees. He slowly and weakly stands up as she looks into his eyes.

He wants to tell her everything is going to be alright. He wants to tell her that Don would fix her up. That she's going to be as good as new. That he would never let anything happen to her again. But he can't. He sees the way she looks at him. He knows she isn't going to make it. She's done. It's over. He feels numbness taking over.

He looks around as he makes his way toward her. Don doesn't move. Casey lays on the ground, not moving much either. Mikey is held up by Leo, but isn't very good off. Leo helps him up and they both slowly make their way toward Raph and Lee.

Raph gathers Lee into his arms and looks down onto the face of love. He sees all of her love for him in that single gaze. He feels her hand close on his as he holds her in his arms, willing her to stay alive. Willing her to stay with him. He knows there's not much hope.

* * *

She wants to run to him. To hold him in her arms and tell him how much she loves him. How she knows that all of those things her attacker said weren't true. How much she cares. She can only fall to her hands and knees. Her job is done. She looks into his eyes as she falls to the ground.

She wants to tell him they are both going to be alright. She wants to say that Don would fix them up. That they're going to live through this. That she would always fight with him to the end. But she can't. She sees the way he looks at her. She knows he can see she's not going to make it. She's saved them. It's over. She feels numbness taking over.

She sees him look around to survey the damage. She knows Don's not good. Casey probably hasn't moved. Mikey probably isn't better than earlier and she knows Leo's okay. She hears them make their way toward her and Raph.

She looks at Raph as he takes her into his arms. She looks into a face of love. She sees all of his love for her in that single gaze. She reaches for his hand in a gesture she knows would mean a lot to him. She sees the look he gives her. He remembers that time. She tries so hard to stay alive. Tries so hard to stay with him. She knows there's not much hope.

"Lee you are so stupid."

Lee smiles at the sentence. She knows it has more meaning than any other thing he could say. "I know. I get it from you."

Raph looks down on her. He feels numb. He's holding his greatest treasure in his arms but he's losing it. "Stay with me Lee. C'mon. I can't lose you again."

"Raph. I'm sorry."

"No. There's nothing to be sorry about."

"Raph. I lied to you."

"Lied to me?"

Leo comes up with Mikey. "Are you okay guys?"

Raph glares at Leo. "Does she _look_ okay to you?"

"_He's_ fine," Mikey jokes to Leo.

Raph ignores him. He turns his attention back to Lee. His breath catches. "Lee! Lee no! Don't leave me!"

Don is up and next to them now. "Raph. We have to get her home. I can make more of that stuff." He turns to Leo. "Get Mikey home. I'll follow with Casey." With that he turns away.

Raph is already standing, Lee in his arms. Without a sound, he starts running. Fast. He leaps on the roofs, over ally ways and anything in his way.

He starts to think. _Lied to me? What does she mean? When? About what? She couldn't mean… no. That's not possible. She was very clear. I'm only a brother to her. _He replays that day in his mind. _A sparkle in her eye. The way she ran away. To hide tears? No. She wanted to leave._

His thoughts are interrupted by Lee. She stirs in his arms. He glances down at her. Her eyes open a little bit. She's about to say something, but starts to gasp. Raph runs faster over the rooftops.

Down into the street. Down into the sewers. Through the tunnels. He makes it to the lair and sets Lee down on the couch. He runs to Don's room and comes back with bandages, gauze, anything that could stop the bleeding. He kneels down by her side.

"Raph."

He cringes at the way she says his name. So desperate to say what she needed to, but stopped by pain. He shushes her. "Shhh. Quiet. It's okay."

"No, Raph. It's not okay." She can only whisper.

"Lee, please. I promise you will live. You will be able to tell me later." He has her shirt pushed up out of the way and is trying to stop the bleeding. It's not working. "C'mon Don," he mutters under his breath. "Where are you?"

Lee gasps as he pushes on the gash. She finds Raph's hand and squeezes it. "Raph…" She is suddenly coughing. She curls up from the pain shooting through her stomach.

"Lee. Don't talk." He watches in horror as she coughs again and again, cringing in pain. He goes over the edge as she coughs once more. He sees blood. "Crap. Coughing up blood. Not good."

Finally Donnie comes in with Casey leaning on him. He had insisted on walking when they had gotten into the sewers. Donnie sets him down and is over by Lee in seconds. He gives her a quick look-over and disappears into his room.

Casey makes his way over to Lee and Raph. "How's she doin'?"

She had passed out from the pain of coughing and Raph is rubbing her cheek. He doesn't look up. He doesn't answer. He doesn't have to.

Casey turns to Raph. "How're _you_ doin'?"

Raph sighs and lays his head on the couch next to Lee. Casey puts his arm around his shoulders. "That bad huh?"

Raph sits up and looks Casey in the eye. "I'm watching my girl lay here dying for the third time in the span of 2 weeks. I'm losing her again Casey."

Casey doesn't know what to say.

Raph starts to shake with tearless sobs. "I can't lose her again! I just can't."

Casey tightens his hold on Raph's shoulders. He feels horrible. If Raph is hurting like this, it hurts him to think of how Raph would act if Lee died. "It's okay Raph. She's gonna be fine. She's strong remember? She can get through this just like the other times. She's your girl. She's just like you."

Don comes back out and hooks up the machine to her. It starts to beep. Faintly, but it beeps. He sighs in relief and turns to Raph and Casey. "Watch this okay? If it stops, come and get me."

Casey nods over Raph's shoulder. Don gets up and heads over to Leo and Mikey who just came in. He helps Leo get Mikey into a chair and runs back to his room. He throws a roll of bandages to Leo who catches them and starts patching up Mikey. When he's done, he goes over to the couch.

"How're they doing?" he asks leaning over the back of the couch.

Casey gives him a look. It says it all.

"Ah." He lays his head down on his arms and sighs.

Mikey gets up and goes to the side of the couch near Lee's head. He strokes her hair. "Hey. Since when were the red streaks gone?"

This draws the desired effect. He gets a smile from Leo and Casey. But not Raph. Raph just watches Lee draw in another breath. Then another. Then another. He watches her as if she would just decide to disappear. Then he talks. "I kinda liked them. They were cool."

This gets a smile from everyone. He even lifts the side of his mouth up a little. She's still breathing. She's going to make it. She has to. They all wait. Listening to the beeping of the machine, telling them Lee's alive. Telling them their girl was going to make it. Then the beeping gets quieter.


	12. Chapter 12

**Ch. 12**

"No. No, no, no, no, no." Raph starts to panic. "Lee, no."

They all hold their breath as the beep gets fainter and fainter. No one moves. No one dares to breathe. They wait for the beeping to go back to normal. It doesn't. Raph really starts to panic. "Donnie! Hurry!"

They hear a reply. "I'm trying!"

Raph gets up and starts to pace. He stays in time with the beeping on the machine. He tries to control himself. To not hyperventilate. To not fall apart. To be strong for Lee and the others. He paces around the couch. Trying to keep breathing. It's really hard.

"Raph. Raph just calm down."

He pushes Leo away and keeps pacing.

"Leo, let him be. He needs to do something. I've never seen him like this before." Mikey takes Leo's arm and leads him away from Raph. "He'll be fine as soon as Lee is okay. Just let him be."

Leo takes another look at Raph before going back to Lee's side. They all watch Raph pace back and forth for what seems like an eternity. Listening to the beeping of the machine, the sound of Raph's footsteps, and waiting for Don. Just waiting. They all try to concentrate on the beeping to keep their minds off of what could happen. That they could lose her.

Then it stops. Everything. For a split second, the room is totally silent. Before anyone can react, Raph is next to Lee in a heartbeat. "God no. God please. Don't take her away from me. Please. Not yet. Don't take her away." He puts his hands behind his head as he falls to his knees. For the first time in his life, he's praying to a god he doesn't even know exists or not. But just in case, he prays.

They all wait. If the beeping has stopped, there's nothing they could do. Nothing. She's gone. They wait. Two seconds. Five seconds. Nothing happens. It feels like five hours have passed. Then, a sound. So quiet that if there was any noise, if any of them were breathing, they wouldn't have heard it. A beep. Then another. And another. And another.

They all sigh in relief after the fifth beep, knowing their friend was still alive. Still with them. Barely, but still there. Casey puts a hand on Raph's shoulder as Raph puts his head down on his arms, taking a shuddering breath that shakes his whole body. He jerks it up again when Don walks out.

"She still…"

"Yeah." Raph takes the shot from Don. "What would we do without you?"

"I don't know," he answers smiling a small smile.

"We'd be doomed," Mikey says as Raph gives the shot to Lee.

They all wait as Raph sets the needle down and waits for Lee to yell. He knows it's coming. It has to. She has to be okay.

There's no way to describe the way everyone cringes as Lee cries out. How happy everyone is when Lee curls up as her stomach hurts. Raph has Lee in his arms before anyone else can get to her. No one can contain their excitement as they all jump Raph and land on the couch.

The only thing keeping Lee from getting squished is Raph's arms around her acting as a barricade against everyone else. He kicks everyone off and sets Lee down. Tears are running down everyone's face as they take turns hugging her.

When Lee hugs Raph, he doesn't let go. He lifts her up, swings her around, and sits on the couch with her still in his arms. "I'm never letting go of you. Never again."

"What if I tell you I can't breathe?"

He loosens his hold. "I'm still not letting go." He lays his head on hers. "I'm not losing you again. I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." She pushes herself up as Raph grudgingly lets her go. "I won't hurt you guys like that again." She hopes the look she gives Raph helps him understand what she's really saying. That she's not hurting _him_ like that again.

Raph gives her an understanding smile as everyone sits on the couch. He opens his arms and Lee accepts the invitation. She curls up in his protective hold and falls to sleep listening to his heartbeat. Raph lays his head against hers.

_I won't bother her today about what she meant. Maybe tomorrow. No. Whenever she's ready. I know she only wanted to tell me because she didn't think she would have the chance any other time. I'll wait for her. _

Everyone goes to their rooms one by one as it gets later and later. Raph stays on the couch so as not to wake up Lee, thinking about everything. About how many times he's lost her in such short time. How much she's gotten hurt. How much… he loves her.

_I'm sorry Lee. You don't have to be afraid. I love you, and no matter what, I won't get mad at you. I'm sorry I asked you at such a bad time. I hope you don't think that this makes me love you any less. Every day my love for you grows. It gets stronger and stronger as I think about how little time I have with you. I hope things won't get awkward. Things should stay the same._

He smirks to himself at how cliché that sounds. The reason he'd never say it out loud.

He eventually gets up and carries Lee to her room. He tucks her in and leans down. "I love you," he whispers. He kisses her on the forehead and with one last thought of 'this probably wouldn't help any' he lays down next to her. _I won't let you out of my sight. Never again._

He wakes up to Lee having a nightmare. She jerks to a sitting position, breathing hard, trying to figure out what's happening. He tries to calm her down and she throws herself into his arms. She's mumbling something about him as he settles her down and holds her as she slowly stops shaking. He stays awake with her, holding her until she slowly falls asleep.

He gets up to go to his room. _I don't want them catching me in here. They'll think something was going on._ He stands up and doesn't take one step before he feels a hand on his arm.

"Please. Don't go. Don't leave me. I need to know you're here." She has tears in her eyes.

"Okay. Shhh, it's okay." He lays behind her, wrapping his arms around her protectively. He knows this is about the dream. Something really scared her. She still shakes some as he pulls her close and rubs her arms. "It's okay. I'm here. I won't leave you. I promise." He thinks to himself. _I will love you forever. I will wait for you. I just hope we don't end up with things left unsaid._


	13. alt ending

**once you read it, you'll see why i changed it. I wanted to write another story. i've started getting the idea of what's it's going to be like. anyway, i like the other ending better. **

**Alternate ending**

He wanted to run to her. To pick her up and tell her how much he loved her. How much those things their attacker had said wasn't true. How much he cared. He only watches as she falls to her hands and knees. He slowly and weakly stands up as she looks into his eyes.

He wanted to tell her everything was going to be alright. He wanted to tell her that Don would fix her up. That she was going to be as good as new. That he would never let anything happen to her again. But he couldn't. He sees the way she looks at him. He knows she isn't going to make it. She's done. It's over.

He looks around as he makes his way toward her. Don doesn't move. Casey lays on the ground, not moving much either. Mikey is held up by Leo, but isn't very good off. Leo helps him up and they both slowly make their way toward Raph and Lee.

Raph gathers Lee into his arms and looks down onto the face of love. He sees all of her love for him in that single gaze. He feels her hand close on his as he holds her in his arms, willing her to stay alive. Willing her to stay with him. He knows there's not much hope.

* * *

She wanted to run to him. To hold him in her arms and tell him how much she loved him. How she knew that all of those things her attacker said weren't true. How much she cared. She can only fall to her hands and knees. Her job is done. She looks into his eyes as she falls to the ground.

She wanted to tell him they were both going to be alright. She wanted to say that Don would fix them up. That they were going to live through this. That she would always fight with him to the end. But she couldn't. She sees the way he looks at her. She knows he can see she's not going to make it. She saved them. It's over.

She sees him look around to survey the damage as he walks toward her. She knows Don's not good. Casey probably hasn't moved. Mikey probably isn't better than earlier and she knows Leo's okay. She hears them make their way toward her and Raph.

She looks at Raph as he takes her into his arms. She looks into a face of love. She sees all of his love for her in that single gaze. She reaches for his hand in a gesture she new would mean a lot to him. She sees the look he gives her. He remembers that time. She tries so hard to stay alive. Tries so hard to stay with him. She knows there's not much hope. None at all.

* * *

"Lee you are so stupid."

Lee smiles at the sentence. She knows it has more meaning than any other thing he could say. "I know. I get it from you."

Raph looks down on her. He feels numb. He's holding his greatest treasure in his arms but he was losing it. "Stay with me Lee. C'mon. I can't lose you again."

Lee squeezes his hand. "You aren't losing me. I'll always be with you." She reaches around her neck and pulls the chain of the necklace. She pulls it out of her shirt and pulls it off her neck.

"Don't you …"

"Raph. Please. You've cussed enough today." She takes his hand and puts the pendant in it. "It's a flash drive remember."

"What has that got to do with anything?" He looks at it. Her name on metal. It wasn't her.

"You'll see." She smiles at him. Her breathes become shallow. She looks into his eyes. "I'm sorry I lied."

"Lied?"

"I have a true answer." She reaches up to his face. "I love you."

He turns into her hand and kisses it. "I know. You showed me that today."

"I wish I could tell you how much." She leans on his chest like she did what seemed like so long ago. She hears his heart speed up. "If only you knew. If only you knew."

"Lee! Lee no!" He doesn't know what to do for her.

Leo speaks now. "Lee don't do this to us!"

Mikey pulls himself away from Leo. He takes Lee's other hand. "Don't leave us Lee. Please."

Lee turns to Leo and Mikey. "I love you guys. I'm sorry." She looks past them. "I love you too Donnie."

They all look toward Don. He stands up and limps over to them. "Lee. Hold on for a few more hours. I can make more of that stuff…"

Lee closes her eyes. "I'm sorry guys. Stay together okay? Help each other through everything. You guys are nothing alone."

"We're nothing without you either," Raph whispers, tears welling up in his eyes. He can't believe this is happening.

"You survived without me before, you can do it again." Her voice is barely audible. "Can you do one more thing for me?"

"Anything," Raph answers.

"Kiss me."

Raph is taken back, but there is no denying that they both knew it was going to come sooner or later if she had lived. He loved her. Passionately. He knew she felt the same. He strokes her cheek with his hand.

He leans toward her. "I love you," he whispers. Then he kisses her.

With the last remaining strength she had, Lee kisses him back. She reaches up with her hand to rub his cheek like he did hers. "I love you too." She closes her eyes just as Casey makes it over to them.

"Casey!" Leo exclaimed. "You okay?"

"No." He looks at Lee. "Oh no."

Lee opens her eyes, so small you could barely call it opening them. "I love you too Casey." She looks Raph in the eyes one more time before she closes them. "Stay safe. Please stay safe." She closes her eyes. Never to open them again.

"Is there anything…"

"No." Don sits there. "Nothing. She's totally… gone."

They all look at Raph. Waiting for all hell to break loose. It never does. Not in the way they thought it would happen. They watch as he starts to cry. His shoulders shake as he leans over Lee. He starts so sob. They're all shocked. Raph never cries like this. Never.

They all gather around him and hold him. Holding him as his shoulders shake. Shaking like never before. Shoulders that were always so strong. They never thought Raph could look so sad. This is why he always acted tough. To hide this.

Everyone backs up as he sits up. He stands up with Lee in his arms. He straightens his shoulders. He sighs. He turns and walks away. They all follow. Over the rooftops. Down through the sewers. Into their lair. No one says a word. When they get there, Don gets to work. He patches up everyone but Raph and Lee.

"Raph? Hey." He sits down next to Raph who was looking at Lee, a blank expression on his face. He patches Raph up, who is seemingly oblivious to what Don is doing. When he's done, he looks at Lee. "I'm just going to make sure okay?" he tells Raph. After a slight nod from Raph, Don gets up and gets the machine.

He hooks it up to Lee and looks at Raph hesitantly as he turns it on and tunes it up. "You okay?" Raph doesn't answer. He pushes a button. No beeping comes. The machine is silent. "Shhhhhhoot." Don corrects himself as he knows Lee would want him to do. He uses her word. He instantly regrets it.

Raph can't hide the pained look that instantly shoots across his face. His head goes down on his arms as he leans on the couch down on his knees. He doesn't want to cry. Not again in front of his brothers. He holds it in. Lee's pendant slips out of his hand.

Don picks it up. He looks at it. He remembers when Raph came into his room and asked him for the laser carver. He had been very skeptical (and somewhat scared) until he had told him what it was for. He had helped Raph carve everything on here.

He never knew that Raph could write like that. The beautiful L on the necklace was better than any other time he had seen Raph write. The wings were a nice touch. He remembered the face Lee made when Raph gave her the necklace. And the excited squeal she gave when she found out he had made it for her.

Don stands up and goes to the computer. He puts the flash drive in and accesses it's memory. He finds the tracker. He smiles some when he sees she has one for all of them. Even Casey and April. He wonders briefly how she has a tracker on all of them. Then he goes to another folder titled pics. He starts to cry. Pictures of him. Of all of them. Together. Playing around.

"Guys. Come look at this." Don turns to everyone. They all make their way to the computer. All except Raph. "Raph. C'mon. You need to see this." He thinks. "She wanted you to see this." That gets him up.

He slowly makes his way to the computer. He sits down in one of the chairs next to everyone else. He watches as Don goes through the pictures. He never knew Lee was so awesome. He never knew she did all this stuff. Skateboarding with Mikey, working with Don, relaxing with Leo, and… everything with him.

His eyes start to brim over at some of the pictures. He remembers the day when she had jumped him from behind, and Leo had to take a picture of the funny way she had her arms wrapped around his neck. His smile in the picture was so real. The look in Lee's eyes as she held on to Raph was one of such happiness and love.

They are all crying by the time they get to the last picture. It was a night that Lee had a horrible nightmare. Raph had gone in to comfort her and he had held her in his lap. She had wrapped her arms around him and his around her. He had just held her until she had fallen to sleep.

"Who took that?" Raph asks through his tears.

"I did." Leo turns to him.

"Why?"

"For something like this. I knew it was something that should be remembered. She loved you man. Never forget that." He wraps his arms around Raph.

"Thanks Leo." He hugs Leo back.

Don and Mike turn back to the computer to give the two brothers their privacy. Don goes back and sees another folder. No, four folders. One with each of their names on it. He opens them one at a time and they all read them. Then they came to the last one. They all moved so Raph could read.

**Raph**

Hey Raph.

I'm sorry for everything. I want to tell you the truth about some things.

1) about the guy. I didn't meet him because I thought of you. I knew I wouldn't be able to ever love someone like I did you. I followed the guy, but I never had any intentions of talking to him. When I saw the guy, something hit me. I was in denial. I let it go when I realized it. I was going to come home and talk to you. To tell you how I felt, but I decided to follow the guy because I had the feeling.

2) I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I'm sorry I scared you so much. I disappointed you so many times. I went off on my own so many times. I was stupid. You had to rescue me so many times, and each time I blamed myself for the scars that stayed. I gave you so many scars because I took your protection for granted. I don't now. I know what it's like being alone now. I'm at a friend's house typing this. I needed to do this in case those people find me.

3) Here's the big truth. I LOVE YOU. I love you Raph. I truly do. I wish I had told you sooner. I'm sorry I lied. I could see the hurt in your face when I told you no and ran away from you. I'm sorry. I had to go. I had to keep you safe. I knew if I told you you'd come after me as soon as you knew I was gone. I couldn't let you follow me.

If you're reading this, I'm probably dead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you again. Keep this necklace please? It has so many memories on it. I'm sure you've see the pictures. They are all of my favorites. All of the pictures taken with my camera. Do you know which one is my favorite? I'm sure you saw it. Thanks for being with me through all of my nightmares. Thanks for everything.

Keep going in life. Don't stop just because I did. Be there for your brothers. They need you as much as I needed you. You were always there for us all. Keep it like that. Protect them please? Just for me? Protect them. Thanks again for everything. And Raph……. I love you. Always remember that. One more thing. BE SAFE.

with love,

Lee

The tears overflow now. Raph shakes uncontrollably. He can't hold in his pain any longer. He feels so many things right now. Love for his family. And Lee. Pain. Pain that will never leave. Maybe loosen, but never leave. Sadness. Sadness that will never leave. It will never fade away. And… gratefulness.

She had used her necklace for a good use. A secret flash drive with messages to her family on it. A message of love to them all. But the smallest thing. Not just the picture, but the way she ended the letter. What they had always told each other. Be safe. The message of love that was hidden inside those two words.

And the way she had typed her name. In the same writing that he had carved it into her necklace. The beautiful L How he had always loved that letter because of it's meaning. Her name. He starts to sob out her name. Again and again into Leo's arms.

"Why? Why Leo? Why her?"

"I… I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I loved her too."

"I know guys. I know." Don joins the hug.

"This is a pretty rotten ending," Mikey says joining the hug.

Raph finds Mike's hand. "I know. I know." He knows what Mikey means. The heroes are always supposed to win. They're always supposed to get out alive. "Life isn't fair."

They all stay there. For a long time. All crying. Casey had joined the group after calling April. She had come and joined them too. They all stayed in a circle, crying for hours together. Crying over the loss of their friend. Their lost love.


	14. Things Left Unsaid lyrics

okay. here are the lyrics to the song that seemed to fit. now, they aren't exactly right, but i really like the chorus and the last verse. anyway, here it is. i was listening to this song while i was writing this... at one point. whenever it was, it seemed to fit.

**Things Left Unsaid **

**Disciple**

It's just a matter of time a few days ago

I saw you, you were fine

Remembering what you said

About the book you read

The one I got you

The Beginning of the End

Oh how we'd talk

For hours upon end

What I would give

Just to do it again

But you're lying there

In this hospital bed

Won't you open your eyes

And let's talk once again

(CHORUS)

If you fly away tonight

I want to tell you that I love you

I hope that you can hear me

I hope that you can feel me

If you fly away tonight

I want to tell you that I'm sorry

That I never told you

When we were face to face

Well I've been here all night

And I'm watching you

Breathe in and breathe out

Is it really you

Or just a machine

That's giving you life

And it's making it seem

That there could be hope

I could say to your face

If it weren't for you

That there would be no grace

That's covered my life

You took the time

To speak into my mind

And my heart

Words of life

(CHORUS)

So goodbye for now

And I'll see you again

Some way, somehow

When it's my time to go

To the other side

I'll hold you again

And melt at your smile

Now all I have

Are the ones that I'm with

And you taught me not

To take for granted

The time that we have

To show that we care

Speak into their minds

And their hearts

While they're here

And say I love you

(Chorus)


End file.
